October 3, 2011

Shades of blue

FB is like this annoying ex-boyfriend who I have broken up with but still can’t stop talking about, even if it is to bitch about him. Remember Carrie obsessing over Big?

So while I’m happy that I deactivated my account, I leave no oppurtunity to tell people that I quit FB. I get some sort of weird pleasure when they get shocked and ask me why, and I answer “Because I got bored.” Some think I quit because ‘something happened’. Some think I’m just plain mental to have quit. Some others think I’ll be back sooner than I can say ‘I’m bored.’

So here’s the real reason why I quit.

I had absolutely nothing to do on it. I mean, I had stopped updating status messages (my creativity had shriveled down to the size of goat poop), I hardly uploaded pics, I never logged on to chat, I rarely changed my profile pic, I had stopped linking my blog posts also. And yet, I logged on every half an hour. For what joy? God knows. And then when I see that nothing new is happening, I would get pissed off all over again. I would worry over taking a good picture so that I would get a lot of likes and comments on it. Taking pics was not about preserving memories anymore. It was for the sole purpose of uploading it on FB. And the quirkier the picture, the better. Normal is boring, you see.

The worst part? I see my friends- girls I studied in school and college with- getting married and having babies. First the green-eyed monster rears its head. Then the blue-toned monster takes over- depression (what an irony that the colour of FB is also blue). Depression that I’m not married, that I’m not even close to getting married. That I don’t have a baby. That the only vacation I take is to TVM and B’lore. That I’m constantly broke by the end of the month. That I don’t have a kick-ass figure like that old friend who used to be fat in school. That I don’t have radiant skin and perfect hair like the wife of the most geeky guy in class. That compared to many people I had studied with, I've reached nowhere in life.

It was getting stressful. And frustrating. Honestly. I mean, ya, I know I should be thankful for a lot many things that I have in life. And I am thankful for all that.

But sometimes, I just go into one of those moods where I mope and mourn over what I don’t have and how badly I want it. Where it hits me real hard that I have absolutely no direction in life.

I’m sorry. I’m just going through a crappy phase right now. Will be back with less-depressing posts soon. If my creativity hasn’t shriveled down to the size of a mustard by then. I promise.

47 comments:

  1. Agree with you on the count that FB is our best chance towards easy and quick attention seeking and needless to say, the things people do to get their 2 minutes of glory, TSk, TSk.

    I feel sorry that you're going through this crappy phase, I watch as many episodes of FRIENDS as I can till the atmosphere lightens up. Maybe you could try that.

    Cheers :)

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  2. I know what you mean.I share, almost the same feelings. Classmates who were backbenchers are traveling the world and living my dream life...Fat friends have suddenly become hot...All the stupid girls are getting married to hunks...Others are taking a vacation and posting awesome pics...And here , I am, clicking 'Like' and not commenting, just to mark my presence.

    :(

    But, this too, shall pass sweets.be back when you feel like.It will still be the same...FB is just like a daily soap..even if you don't watch it for a month or two, the story remains where you had left...doesn't move at all.

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  3. Aww be back soon :P Hope you're feeling better!! Take care and I know FB's annoying but well, I like it :P And yeah I admire you for de-activating.

    I hate people who go "I hate facebook, chi, letter writing was better" and then don't leave fb but update status' about their entire life every minute or they come back in two days even if they de-activate :\ Just annoying!

    Take care and get well soon! :D

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  4. You know, I wonder the same things on fb. I see people change their jobs to their dream jobs. Put up statuses about how amazing their lives are and photos of their awesome vacations and weekend plans as I sit at office. :)

    So you are not alone at least. sometimes I want to feel more happy about my life and all that I have. But I can't and that bothers me.

    I love this post of yours. Its honest. :) and I like how honesty makes such a difference in our lives.

    I hope you figure it all out soon. and I hope you feel better. :)

    Big hug just in case. :)

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  5. Goat poop, rofl =))

    I guess Facebook looses its charm after college.

    Get well soon. Stay Blessed ^_^

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  6. I am goin thru a pretty similar phase and so can udnerstand... But still, I cant bring myself to click deactivate... not yet... God help me!!!

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  7. myself also quit fb,orkut last month....
    the reason is simple...felt bored of it....

    though i still have a twitter account,i dont use it much now...

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  8. Darling , you have MEEEE! who also broke up with FB btw , FYI( just to give you company)
    NOW we'll have direction in life. NOW we wont turn green or blue!.
    NOW our creativity wont shrivel down to the size of either a goat poop or a mustard!.

    Cmon! I quit FB for you, you better gimme a high -faive for this!

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  9. @Atrocious: Hmm.. FRIENDS does help. Both the sitcom and the real life ones. :)

    @akanksha: I sometimes don't even like or comment because my ego doesn't allow me to. I'm a bad bad person. :/

    @Ro: What hmm?

    @DawnZhang: Thanks sweetie. :)

    @Srinidhi: I really needed that hug. Thanks so much. :)

    @The guy in the mirror: It depepnds on what age you join FB also. I joined when I had started working.
    Thanks. :)

    @John Doe: Hey, a new visitor! :)
    Eventually, you will click the deactivate button. Trust me. I've been there.

    @nikhimenon: Join the club. :)

    @The Meditating Lion: Oh wow!! You quit too?!! :D High-faive, baby!

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  10. I love facebook! Love to see what my friends are doing, etc.
    But then I'm in school, and isn't life more interesting when you're in school?

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  11. Too much of anything is not good.. I too used to be online all the while I'm at office before. But now, I login only once every 2 days and even if I login everyday I logout within half an hour(thats the max). And dream life..??
    I tel u.. Each one of us are living a Dream Life of someone else'.. So stop cribbing..;p
    Cheer up and start posting that "Senseless sense n Sensible nonsense" u used to post before...;-)

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  12. You realise that the very people who are giving you green monster attacks also operate on the same policy of putting up only the best parts of their life while in reality they might be falling apart? Think about that.

    And sounds like you need a vacation really bad. Consider taking one. Soon. Very soon.

    -_-

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  13. Man i m sooo bored of Facebook!!!! I log in just to stalk or add pending friend requests. Thats it. No status updates no sweet nothings!!

    On top of it my relatives have joined it and are stalking me. so all the more strong reason to dislike it!

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  14. aaaaan..u know wat..i so like this post of yours..
    trust me..
    i am going through the same phase..
    fb has become such a pain in the ass..
    i have nothing to do in that..
    and then get so super frustrated seeing other ppl go rocking with their activities and statuses and photos..

    had recently even cribbed about the negativity bursting at its seams outta me..in me blog
    hmm..u are not alone you know..
    so..*a hug* :):)

    and don't worry..me sure you will figure out stuff in your life and bounce back real super..!!
    so cheers..!!

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  15. Well let's just say, you're over it :P .. whereas I still am in the phase, where I log in every now and then and yes I get PISSED OFF when I see no new stuff... it's started to bug me now :/ ...

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  16. The most messy girl in my class, when I was in 8th grade, is now a sex bomb, she wears all kinds of negligees, uploads pictures of her perfect vital stats, and it all makes me shout like a 2 year old baby :X this other girl is taking vacations to amsterdam, I hate her too now. facebook is a pure brat now :X moreover, in my case, everybody is working, it kills me. the married thing hasn't struck yet, but its on its way. A friend of mine is getting married in february, the first marriage in our class. guess, somethings knocking :( And above all, I simply fail to understand why does everybody have nice hair and I don't ?

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  17. You're too nice. I noticed the same things about Facebook - not many people 'liking' my spectacularly witty statuses, not many people uploading pictures, *way* too many people getting married, not many people doing anything at all - and I decided that everyone else had just become dumber. What do you do when you're too brilliant for everyone else? Persist in showing them just how foolish they are, which of course they'll never understand because they're too foolish to, but that's why I said 'persist' in the first place. Anyway, I'm still on Facebook. Such a noble person I am. :)

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  18. I can so completely relate to your problems!! Sometimes FB is just too depressing. And you should be glad you are off of it now :)

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  19. Hi nice write up :) :) Facebook has become like addiction nowadays :) :) So it is better to deactivate!!! but i am yet to ... More so Unable too :) :)

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  20. the routine that u described on FB is the routine everyone has...so chill.

    and i can so bet on the fact that once ur married, u'll write a blog post cribbing about being married and not bein single and independent, etc. etc.

    btw...nice goat poop observation :)

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  21. Sarcastic tone,thank God,is still intact in the crappy phase as well.

    Honey,I'll give you some free gyan..
    "How I want my life to be perceived by people is what I post on FB.That is the truth about FB and that alone is the truth about FB."

    So cheer up lady,you don't have to worry about nasty husbands or smelly diapers. :-)...

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  22. @cricketfreak: Life is not just more interesting, but also a lot simpler in school. :/

    @Kanthu: Very true. Each one of us is living the dream life of someone else.. Hmm..
    I'll be back soon. :)

    @PeeVee: Ya, I guess you're right. Maybe what I need is a vacation...

    @Red Handed: AH, when relatives join, that's the cue to escape!

    @meoww: Thanks for the hug. :) I really needed that.

    @confusedsoul: If it's started to bug you now, then you'll be off it in another 6 months. :P

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  23. @Serendipity: Exactly what I feel! Why in the world does everyone have better hair than me??!! Not fair! :(

    @Abhinav, Ah, so basically, you're doing humanity a favour by being on Facebook, is it? :P

    @The life-a-holic: I am glad I'm off it. But you know what? The extra time that I have in hand now, I spend worrying and moping. SO I'm not sure which is worse. :/

    @RAVISHANKAR: Thanks. :) I'm sure you'll be able to deactivate, with time.

    @kalpak: Ha, everyone has the same routine, I know that. So? I shouldn't talk about it kya? :( You go re!

    @Blue Lotus: That definitely is a better way to look at it. :)

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  24. Without sounding like a darn motivational book, lemme just tell you something(s).
    1. People who need the constant reassurance that others are watching their every move are just plain wierd - a.k.a. Facebook
    2. Marriage, kids, and the entire hullaboo over the whole thing is highly over rated. Ask the millions of women who deal with drool, susu-potty and homework! Moreover, marriage and kids are a chemical reaction - you cannot get back into the same state after you have it! So its better to make a well informed decision here - one which may well take more time than others, but it is for keeps!
    3. So what if you are broke at the end of the month? You always have the 1st of the next month right?
    4. Vacations? Babes - just backpack and LEAVE - coz you certainly aint doing it once the kiddo arrives :-)
    5. *Tight Hug*

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  25. Hahaha.. Well it is true that you get a way lot more time for yourself. But the best part is you can utilize that time to do something a lot more better and productive :)!!

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  26. @kalpak: I'm already gone from FB. Where else should I go re? Uzbekistan?! :/

    @Nirvana: The hug made the motivational stuff sound less bokkish. ;)

    @The life-a-holic: Ah. Productive. There's the catch.

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  27. Hi spaceman spiff!
    I stumbled onto your blog a few days ago- Have been reading your posts and finally made up my mind to comment- I absolutely love your blog posts! Especially the one on being a proud mallu! :)
    And yes, facebook is pretty demotivating at times. But I still hang around :/ i think i'll quit too one day.
    Do continue your awesome posts- I definitely look forward to them :)

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  28. So u're always on facebook....

    U're always on facebook...

    (to the tune of tht vodafone ad :) )

    Someone just told me the best way to make money on fb.. its called "log off n start to work" :D


    I think I'm a fb addict n yes, thr r pics tht I take exclusively fr comments n likes.. :)

    n come on D, u write like a dream..n thts somethin none of ur college frnds can match :)

    Cheer up, dearie n let those gr8 posts comin :)

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  29. I think I'm kind of an old -worlder here because there was a time when every one used orkut and scrap count was the highest indication of Cool..(he he). So I was never really into facebook. I am on there only to keep in touch with my cousins who are all over it with whacky quotes and photos and what nots..

    I liked your post because it was sooo honest. It reflects what everybody feels, but seldom puts it in words. Facebook just exploits the need of people to show off their life to others and make a point that they are doing great.. It is like how your parents wanted to show you off at each wedding reception. Only now people take pictures of every moment in their life with the sole purpose of sharing a realy rosy picture.. It is just not real..

    So don't worry, don't be jealous, because experience has taught me that behind every smiling face, there may be troubles that you have no idea about.
    Anyways, you will have a lot more time to write awesome blogs now..

    Cheer up..:)

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  30. Hey! "The stressed out"
    I second PEE VEE. You probably need a holiday :)
    New to your space :)
    Wonderful blog :) I'll read more :)
    And oh, I share your name :)

    PS : I quit FB too :D

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  31. True! FB has become more of an itch on your back that you constantly feel the need to sratch on without any provocation. And ask the people who make u turn green - are they REALLY enjoying it? If yes, how many of them? :) akkare pacha always.

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  32. Hey purple freak :D...you are probably the only other person I've met you uses that phrase apart from me...I in this crappy place all through sept and like the scribller said FRIENDS helped me out, both the SITCOM and real :D...now that you have a haircut you should be feeling better right? If your not do this: think of the onething that you've always wanted to do but haven't done it yet? I've no dearth of ideas if you wan you steal some from me, but I played hop scotch will couple of school kids, did a Sridevi kinda jig in the rain, and ate an 8 course meal...all in one day...and I the next day I'm light as a feather :D...try it plus the vacation which PV said as well.

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  33. @Krishna Sruthi Srivalsan: Hey there, lady with the very interesting name. :) Thank you so much!
    Looks like I'm motivating a lot of people to quit FB! :D

    @R-A-J: That's one catchy tune, isn't it? :)
    And thank you for being so sweet and upping my morale. I really appreciate it. :)

    @Sunitha: I had even forgotten I have an Orkut account. :)
    And thank you so much for those words of encouragement. It's put a smile on my face a hope in my heart. :)

    @The Updater: Hey Namesake. :) Thanks for dropping by.
    And yes, maybe I need a vacation...

    @Musings: Hmm.. That's also there. The grass is always greener on the other side...

    @The dragon in the skin of a goat: Man that's a long name to type out! :O
    I am feeling better now, more so because of the words of encouragement from my wonderful co-bloggers. :)

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  34. So totally understand reason no 2. Me, I'm just 20, but there are people of my age getting engaged and married all over. Makes me wail, every time I see a 'My engagement' album up on FB.

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  35. Glad to hear that :D...I'm counted in the co-bloggers list I hope you helped and didn't just ramble on some crap!!! I know the name is big...you can call me Pinx, Priyanka, PS, Dragon Girl or simply D like the others do. My god what's with me and choices!!! I'm still progressing down your posts on the blog, absolutely hooked on so far :D

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  36. @Anu: And albums titled
    "It finally happened!" "The day I have been waiting for" "The most beautiful day of my life". Meh. :(

    @Pinx: Ah, there. I've taken my pick. :)
    Thank you so much. :)

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  37. This happens to me too when I am PMSing. So relax, the crappy phase will be over even before you realize it. Time flies, you see! :)

    And then, all those people who brag about the best wedding and best honeymoon on FB, do they ever talk about unpleasant things like the worst first fight (no, not night) and horrendous labor pains? I guess, single ladies are not missing much !

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  38. :D Join the facebook-hate club :D

    I just wished today, if god could take Mark Zuckerberg and give Steve Jobs back :)


    #_#
    1955-2011

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  39. @Destiny's Child: The crappy phase is pretty much over. :)

    @TheBluntBlogger: :D Zuckerberg definitely wouldn't agree with you! :D

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  40. Very true line:-
    Taking pics was not about preserving memories anymore. It was for the sole purpose of uploading it on FB.

    Same is happening with me... friends are getting married... having babies no one have time to call or text... and FB is also so damn boring.

    I broke every weekend (u r more lucky u broke monthly :P )thinking wht a life??

    We both need break :P

    God bless you!!

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  41. P.S. I am still on FB.... searching for ray of hope... :(

    God help all of us!!

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  42. @WonderWall: It's as though there never existed a world before FB, right? Scary!
    Thanks for dropping by. :)

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  43. Oh I know that feeling. FB is not just depressing these days, it's bloody complicated too. And I'm getting tired relearning the new interface.

    I'd rather clean dog shit.

    Which is what I'm doing daily actually..sigh

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  44. Feeling so connected with reasons you have cited. married frens wiht babies, frens having a blast each weekend.. many reasons to trigger the 'j' factor!

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  45. @Darsh: The new interface was seriously annoying. That was the last straw. And happy cleaning. :)

    @Jane Doe: I know, right? :/

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