August 28, 2008

Over a cup of coffee

I sit by my window, at my desk, loads of work lying in front of me. I sip my cup of much-needed black coffee, enjoying the wonderful aroma and flavour of it. It looks, and sounds, like rain outside. I take in the dark clouds, chilly wind, the leaves swaying in the wind. I can hear the birds twittering, probably looking for better shelter before the rain starts and their homes get wet.
Ah…what an idyllic moment.
I remember, in my last blog, the tagged-writing one, in my list of “things I believe in”, one of the things I’d written was “Happiness is definitely a state of mind”. In retrospect, what prompted me to write that? Did I always believe in that? Or did circumstances prompt me to think like that? Again, I don’t know…
But I think, at some level, I do know. I guess I realized the value of happiness after I came to Hyderabad, or, to be more specific, when I left home. Again, I come back to square one. Home.
Everybody takes things for granted. That’s…basic human nature. You take your family for granted, your friends for granted, your spouse…I guess I took my home for granted…my space. Where I had everything…my own room, my books, my comp, my T.V. and most of all, my family. Amma, who’s probably the best mom a stubborn, scatter-brain like me could have got. Sometimes I feel I don’t even deserve to get an angel like her. I mean, what have I ever done for her, except given a lot a tension and talk back. And Acha, who’s like a coconut. Tough on the outside, but when it comes to his daughters, he’s just a softie. My sister always used to say, that I’m his pet, that he loves me more than her…Is that ever possible? Can a parent ever favour one child over the other? And Chechi, who at one point of time, though we would fight like crazy, used to be one of my closest friends; sometimes I feel like I don’t know her anymore. I guess we just outgrew each other.
So then, what exactly am I doing 36-hours-long-train-journey away from home? Am I being a complete idiot? Or am I trying discover myself? Bullshit. Who am I kidding? The only thing I’ve discovered so far is that living alone costs a lot of money, and at the end of the day, all that freedom and all, is just not fun anymore. All you want to do is eat some proper home-made food, and cuddle up in your bed.
So, where does happiness figure in all this? Miles away from home, among people I’m not sure I even like (barring a very few), what crap am I out to discover? That people can be really mean and bitchy and selfish? That there isn’t inherent goodness in everyone as I used to believe? As Calvin once pondered with Hobbes “ Are human beings basically bad with some good tendencies, or basically good with some bad tendencies”( these are not the exact words. But it’s on similar lines). But yes, I have learnt to be happy about the smallest things. The long walks we enjoy around my awesome campus. The occasional eating-out jaunts that we take. The long coffee-sessions that we have in the hostel room, which can go on for- on some days- 3-4 hours. The steaming cup of chai at the canteen after a long day of classes. The cooking experiments in the room using a hot-plate. The feeling of being a kid again while swinging on the swings in the children’s park. When my cycle has enough air in it and I can enjoy a smooth ride.
I guess that’s one thing that’s helped me remain sane in this madhouse. My childishness. Others may think it’s silly, but I find solace in it. I find refuge in that, and I find freedom in that.
And I find joy in rambling like this…
My coffee’s over, some sugar crystals dried to the cup-bottom. It’s dark outside. And I don’t have anymore excuses to shirk away from work.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep…
And miles to go before I sleep…

April 18, 2008

I got tagged

One of my friends tagged me with this, and I found it quite interesting.Hope you guys enjoy doing it as much as I did.Don't think too hard.Just pen down whatever comes to ur mind first.I sure wanna read something that you guys have written too.

10 Things I've realized/ 10 realizations

1) It's great to be a kid

2) Being a grown-up is an extremely boring affair

3)There's nothing like home.It's the best place to be

4)But it's also important to go away from home, only then will you realize the importance of home

5)When it rains, the whole world comes alive

6)When it rains, I come alive

7)No matter where you go, or how far you go, you will never be too far away from your family and friends.It's all in the mind.

8)Always cherish even the smallest moments in life.Who knows, they may come in handy during boring lectures and long train journeys.

9)It's very important to have an "I don't care" attitude in life sometimes...but not always.

10)Harry potter always helps to restore sanity.Believe me.

9 things I'm glad about.

1)The awesome people I have in my life,every single one of them


3)Calvin and Hobbes

4)Harry Potter

5)Icecreams, gulab jamuns, fish and chicken



8)My laugh,though it may bother others.

9)Good food

8 Things I badly wanna (do)

1)Travel, travel and travel.

2)Go to Chirapunji for my honeymoon, which I'm aware is a long time away.But still, no harm in wishing, right.

3)Go home

4)Learn guitar and salsa,or any of those dance forms.

5)Go back to kindergarten

6)Get drunk at least once in life.

7)Be bold enough to tell my parents about some things in my life

8)Live in some hill station, get away from the city

7 Things I often tell myself.

1)I'm crazy, but its perfectly ok to be crazy.

2)You're great the way you are, whether the world thinks so or not.

3)There's no need to study everyday or be up to date with your assignments.

4)Laugh a lot,honey, coz thats what keeps you sane

5)If you can finally learn to cycle, then you can do just about anything in life.

6)You're an awesome singer, no matter how off-key you may sound to others.

7)Talking to yourself is not a sign of insanity

6 people I wanna thank

1)My family,for everything. I am, because they are.

2)My friends from school, the brat-pack from K.V.Pangode.Anand,Saty, Roro, Meera, Nisha,Chattu,Vijish,Reshu.

3)Arun 'Nathaniel' John, for all the lunches and dinners he's bought me, without ever hesitating even once; for listening to me hours on end on the phone; for making HCU tolerable; and for being a great cameraperson,and Shruths, for being my bugging partner.

4) Sree, for the madcap she is, for being with me when I needed her the most;for suporting me, and yet,scolding me wen she felt I needed to be; for making me laugh till my tummy hurt and tears came to my eyes; for seeing me through my unhappy tears;for teaching me how to board private and KSRTC buses;for making my Ivanios life memorable...for just being...Sree.


6)Me,myself and I, coz I love me.Well,most of the time.

5 things I believe in

1)My mom and her prayers

2)The healing power of music

3)Happiness is definitely a state of mind.

4)The world is not all that bad you know.You just have to change your perspective, or just alter it a bit


4 promises

1)I will learn guitar some time in my life

2)I will travel a lot, at least before I get married and have kids

3)I will never grow up. I'll try my best not to

4)I will respect the people in my life, and will make peace with some people before I die.

3 Confessions

1)I'm terrified of lightning

2)I solemnly swear i'm up to no good. (copyright:Harry Potter)

3)I dont have any ambition in life, and I'm not ashamed to confess it

2 things I never wanna do in life

1)Get busy,so busy that I dont have time for anyone or anything

2)Die thinking that I didn't solve issues with anyone.

1 funda I have utmost faith in

Laugh a lot.Not because it'll help you live longer or anything, but because its the whackiest feeling in the world wen you laugh and your tummy starts aching and tears pour down.Trust me.

I also tagged

mithun and roro

April 11, 2008

a life called K.V.Pangode

When people talk about their schools, many words are used to describe it. Journey, experience, memories. I have just one word to describe my alma mater. Life. Because that is where I learnt to live.
12 years is not a short time, especially when those 12 years are considered the most formative ones in a student’s life. Fortunately for me, I spent eleven of those years in K.V.Pangode, my school, my life.
I still remember each and every thing about school just as if I’ve been there only yesterday, although it’s been almost 4 years now since I’ve left it. The beautiful campus, the jungle, the huge playgrounds, the corridors, the classrooms, the park, the school bus trips. Lots of memories come rushing at me all at once.
The CCA- Fridays and Saturdays, the mass –PT Saturdays, theOnams, the annual days. Wow!! There’s such an amazing lot that my school given me.
Wherever I am today, whatever I am, my school has helped me get here, be it the support of my amazing teachers, or the simply terrific friends that I’ve made in school. A part of me will always lie in the school, maybe in the corridors gossiping with my friends; in the classrooms, trying to pay attention to boring classes; in the assembly ground, singing the prayer song, still helplessly out-of-tune; on the steps, during lunch-break, eating more from my friends’ tiffin-boxes than my own; in the playground, trying to shirk away from doing any physical exercise; in the CCA hall and stage, where I’ve recited so many poetries and given as many speeches and won prizes; maybe in the staffrooms and princi’s room where I’ve spent a few not-too-good moments; the jungle, where we’ve spent so many free periods; the library, the shrine that made me the book-lover I am. These are just a few memories of the amazing life that I have lived in K.V.Pangode, where I learnt so many things, the good way and the hard way. Where I met the angels I call friends.
Now I know what Bryan Adams was talking about when he sang “ those were the best days of my life”.

March 23, 2008

It rained...

Ever heard of something called associative nostalgia...? A song reminds you of sumone, a smell takes u back to a particular place...
It's been raining here all day, since yesterday actually, and I'm longing for home.Home...Trivandrum.

Whenever it starts raining, the first thing that comes to people's minds is the slush and mud...the needless botheration of having to use an umbrella...the indefinite powercuts...the clothes that never dry...

But I...I love the rain. It means to me the lovely scent of the earth..Mmm..The countless times I've stood in my balcony, just watching the sheets of water pour down, hour after hour. I could just stand for hours watching the rain, with Amma coming from the kitchen every once in a while to see whether I'm still being silly, and then smiling and leaving me to my silliness. And then I would run to the spiral staircase outside and stand there getting wet...ha...

My earliest memories are of school reopening after the summer uniform,new shoes,new bag...and the first monsoon shower. Raincoats and umbrellas in hand, we would set off for school. Morning assembly indoors, no P.T periods, and the white uniforms wud be a lovely brown.

I don't know why, but I've always considered the rain lucky for me...I finally passed my driver's license test in the pouring rain, it was raining the day I got my HCU results..and more than lucky, I feel so good when it rains...good about myself, good about the world around me...

It may sound cheesy, and very girly, which is totally unlike me...but the rain is my one weakness.I can't help but be girly. It just brings out that side in me. The joyful, carefree, happy, crazy side of me.

I was walking today in the evening, and it was drizzling just lightly...I was walking along ( hopping along, actually), umbrella in hand, iPod playing, mud spraying on my legs. and I was....happy. So happy. I made paper boats and floated them, jumped and played in the puddles of water. At one point of time, I turned and looked around, and there wasn't a soul in sight. I was amazed at the beauty I saw around me.

Just me, and this beautiful world.

March 11, 2008

first day first show

considering that i'm posting my first blog the day before i've to hand in a big report, and all my team members are working away, i guess i can safely certify myself 'nonsensical'.
well, i dont have much time to write now, or else,my team members might just murder me.keeping that in mind, i sign off.
P.S.i promise i'll post regularly..or at least, i hope so.