August 31, 2016

Hello, hello, hello...

Is there anybody in there? 

Just nod if you can hear me.

Is there anyone home?

Don't worry, I'm not high. Neither have I lost my mind (this one's debatable).

How have you all been? Good? Good.

This place feels a bit strange now. Kinda like that dress you used to love at one point of time and wore it all the time, but can't figure out now why. When I read the posts here, I can't help but wonder "Did I really write these?". That was such a different life, such a different me.

Ok, maybe not a different me. Like I always say, people don't change, circumstances do. I feel so far removed from Spaceman Spiff and Senseless Sense? Or Sensible Nonsense?

No no, don't get me wrong. I love this space. For the couple of years that I actively blogged, this was my baby. I had no trouble posting at least once a week. And I ended up meeting some wonderful people because of this.

But at some point, I had stopped writing for myself, and had started writing to be read. I would start on a draft and halfway through, I would wonder "Is this good enough? Would anyone want to read it?", and there is would go into trash. This is the worst thing that can happen to a writer. I didn't completely stop writing. I still write in my diary once in a while. But I could no longer put anything up for public scrutiny. The social media boom has made everyone into a writer now. Wherever you turn, there is a new site or a new blog with fresh new content. My confidence in my writing went for a complete toss. I stressed over it for a long time, thinking that I had lost the one good thing I had in me - my ability to write. I mean, that was the ONLY thing I was good at. It didn't help that others would ask me "Why did you stop writing? You write so well!". How could I explain that I just wasn't able to? No words, no inspiration.

I decided to let it go for a bit. Letting go of anything at all has been my biggest challenge in life. I hold on far too tight and far too close, and in the process, end up messing my up mind completely. It's not been easy, but I'm finally learning to let go. I've been telling myself not to be so hard on myself or on others. To quote Aldous Huxley, "Lightly, child. Lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them." I decided not to stress so much over a lost cause and decided to appreciate and enjoy what I do have in life.

So in the spirit of doing things lightly, I started another blog, lightly. :) It's just one post old. So be nice and pay a visit, ok? Please? For old time's sake? You love me no?

My dear lovelies, welcome to Wine, Words and Wander.

I sincerely hope I don't let it go.