October 10, 2011

Random Monday

Ek fairness cream jo sab kuch karta hain.

Ha, sab kuch. Aapko gora banata hain, jawaan banata hain. Ghar saaf karta hain, barthan dhotha hai, kapde dhotha hain, khaana banata hai, jhaado-poncha martha hain, baccho ke sussu-potty dhotha hai, subah-subah aapko neend se jagaatha hai, aapke liye chai-naashta banata hai. Raat ko kahaniyaan bhi sunata hai. Zaroorat pade tho khujli bhi karke deta hain.

Aapka fairness cream kya karta hain?

Do you want it to be translated into Inglees? Alright then.

A fairness cream that does everything.

Yes, everything. It’ll make you fairer, make you look younger. Cleans your house, washes vessels, washes clothes, cooks, does sweeping-swabbing, cleans your kid’s sussu-potty, wakes you up in the morning, makes chai-breakfast for you. Tells you stories at bedtime. If required, it’ll do scratching also for you.

What does your fairness cream do?

P.S 1:- No, haven't gone bonkers. Have you seen the new Olay fairness cream ad? If they make anymore fairness creams, all Indian women are going to look like ghosts.

P.S 2:- Please go read this lady’s blog if you haven’t yet. Very different, very funny.

Just love this song.

Edited to add: Yippe! The Youtube thingy works! Thanks, you guys! :)


  1. bwahahaa..!!
    i swear dude..!!
    fairness creams and their advertisements..!!
    they actually believe that consumers are foolish enough to believe everything..!!!
    or are they..??! :O :O :O

    owww..that blog be nice ya..!!she has a unique way of writing..!!

    hmm..i miss old hindi songs..!! sighhh..they don't make such good music nomore..wasn't "Anand" a wonderful movie..i remember i had cried like mad after watching it..

    and congos on successfully posting the video..!!
    cheers girll..:):)

  2. kya daaru peeke post likha hai kya??

    anythin ur blabbering. how can u end a post on fairness cream ad's tall claims wid a video of a rajesh khanna song??!!!

    btw...english translation was so vernacular.

    esp "it'll do scratching also for you"

    aise baat karna is just so vernacularly middle class monisha!

  3. Hehe, Hillarious! Love your sense of humour:D

  4. Haha seriously I wish they make such a fairness cream!! :D :D

    I don't use any fairness cream, I m happy with the complexion I have but I m yet to know why Asians are so obsessed with fairness creams while the white ghosts of Europe and US are frying themselves in the sun to get that "Asian tan" ! Seriously?? Why can't people be happy with what color they are?

  5. Hahaha I was going to pen down a similar post... to much hype on the fairness creams... Really stupid! I don't understand why people can't be content with their skin color.. There's a saying in our language - "Karuppin azhakku" (Black is beautiful) .. then why do people stress over it... Americans natural skin color is fair and because of our temperature and location, we tend to be a lil dusky... Really fairness creams just elevate people's expectations unnecessarily... :)

  6. ha ha ha... lol...
    mera fairness creame mere liye above mentioned fairness cream kharid kar la dega :) :)

    PS: awesome song :)

  7. You know there are fairness creams which improve your fashion and dressing sense? There are also those which give you a new hair cut!!! Every ad shows the dusky girl in salwars and tailu hairstyle first but then she is suddenly not just glowing has a great bod, with a lovely dress and a hairstyle that accentuates all the right things!!! BTW Divya have you read this (http://colouringlifepurplealltheway.blogspot.com/2011/10/bring-them-back.html) :D

  8. Sacchi!!!!!!!
    My brother wants my mother to buy him Olay fairness cream. I guess he wants to look like Edward Cullen!
    They should ban such advertisements!

  9. Hello Divya!!! Aww thanks for the shout out. That's really really nice of you! For a moment there I was flummoxed with the deluge of traffic coming from your blog that I actually went "Shit what have I done now?".

    I don't even know why I said that.

    I love you!

    Oh and thumbs up for a great post. You make my Monday a whole lot better ;)

  10. hahahhahahahaha... we ARE a country obsessed with complexion.. so if at all one fairness cream could do all these.. they would let the makers run the government :P
    had this thought in mind for long.. never came out actually.. I gotta write a blog on this obsession..!!

    if you aren't in team Fair and lovely.. its obvious that you are dark and ugly..!! :) :)

  11. Can anyone come up with a fairness cream which will make life fair and square???*Sighs*

  12. The hype over skin color is overrated. And the fact is fairness doesn't decide your job, promotion, even getting a good looking spouse. And if you think rationally, what does a promotion or job that came from your being fair make you? A slut? Where do you think a relationship that depends only on your skin color would be 10 years down the line?
    But it is sad that there are still a lot of people who fal for these stupid ads.

  13. Hope apple does't come across this post. The next thing we know, apple is now collaborating with Olay to give you the new "Ophone" ;) :P

  14. Mujhe bhi chahiye this magic wand. Face be laganaa zaroori hai kya?

  15. @meoww: Of course consumers buy them. That's why they're still being sold!
    And 'Anand' was a lovely movie. :)

    @kalpak: Ha be. Main office mein ek hip-flask leke aati hoon, filled with vodka.
    And that was vernacular on purpose, Monisha! :P

    @Sumitra: Thanks! :)

    @maithili: It's so ironical, right?! We want to become fair like them, while they even go for artificial tans to get that bronzed look! :/

    @confusedsoul: See, my problem isn't really against people wanting to be fair. that's every person's personal choice. But these fairness cream companies advertising it as a life-saver is what's irritating!

    @sharanjayendra: Arre waah! Aapka fairness cream tho mast hai! :D
    It's a beautiful song, right? :)

    @Pinx: I know! It's as though, if you're fair now, you can start wearing spaghetti straps and mini-skirts. :/ Bleddy.
    I saw off, woman. :P

  16. @Red Handed: No offence to your brother, but ewww!! That was for Edward Cullen. :/

    @Darsh: No problemo. I believe in sharing the love. :) You have a sooper-dooper blog.
    P.S: I love you too. In a very non-lesbo type way. :P

    @Superrrnickkk: I've written about this topic before alos. A post named "Ain't no matter if you're black 'o' white'. But it never gets old, right? Because as long as Indians are obsessed with being fair, the debate will never stop.

    @Rahul: Uff!! EVERY fairness cream does that re! It'll make your life better. It'll get you a good bride(s). Make you more confident so that you succeed professionally also. You'll also cook and perform in bed better. Sacchi.

    @Sunitha: Agree with every point you said. ANd it's because people fall for them that the companies make such ads. It may not be a big deal for us. But there is a section of society that does fall for it.

    @The guy in the mirror: Yes, the oPhone will be round in shape. And each time I touch the screen, I'll become one shade fairer. :P

    @Purba ji: Nahi nahi. Sirf cream ka dabba face pe rub karo tho bhi chalega. Utna powerful aur effective hai ye!

  17. Hahahahahahaa, I wish :P
    But seriously, SOOO many fairness cream ads now a days. Lame ass ads.
    And yeah, first they'll show a girl in traditional attire whose face has been made dark with shitty makeup, then saat dino me whoa! She'll become this super hot babe with lighter hair color, trendier clothes and scaringly whiter skin which again is due to the application of shitty make up.
    I don't know how and why people fall for this shit :(
    Super cool post \m/

  18. Wow, kewwwl stuff.. wish they hd sumthin fr guys too.. tho my grameen intellect finds sumthin wierd with a name like 'Oil of Ulay'.. I mean, who is 'Ulay'? Imagine if the name 'Ulay' was replaced by some guy's name.. yuck! :)

    n thnk u fr grossin u out.. I'm here all day :)

  19. n btw Spiff, my write up is ready.. shall sent it to u by tomo :)

  20. ROFL. That was hilarious! :D Fairness cream ads never fail to put me off. Ugh, why do we remain obsessed with being fair? (how I wish it was the other 'fair' we were talking about! :/)

  21. Spiff, guest post ready n sent!!! pls check gmail.. do lemme knw whn u'd b posting it.. thnxu Spiff, thnxu :)

  22. @Blahblaholic: It's magic cream re. Along with colour, it'll also improve the girl's sartorial sense. :P

    @DawnZhang: :P

    @R-A-J: Got it, sir. :) It'll be up soon.

    @Krishna: The other fair, who wants... :/

  23. Fairness Cream ads are the pits! Noticed what Kajol's skin looks like in the Olay ad? Ghostly!

  24. hahhaha nice post!!

    I like the mentos one.
    "Yeh hai mentos zindagi" ad!!


  25. @DC: Seriously! So pale!

    @Center Shocker: Thanks! :)

  26. I still owe you a post. Please still love me.

  27. @Darsh: yes yes, I still lowe you. :P Full lou is coming.


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