November 22, 2011

The one where I like my own status updates

(This post can also be called- *cough*Lame Show-off*cough*)

Sometimes I really miss FB you know. Especially when I can think of one-liners that would be perfect for status updates but too short for a post. At one time, I used to put a lot of thought into coming up with good status updates (good in my opinion, that is). And by good, I don't mean the “Good morning- 50 people like it” kind of good.

Here are some of my favourite status updates, in no particular order. Ok, maybe just the first two.

1) You know it’s time to take a break from the internet when, instead of telling the auto-wala “Bhaiyya, u-turn”, you say “Bhaiyya, youtube.”

2) So is the government absolutely sure that it’s a temple vault? Or was it just another Mallu wedding?

3) Dear Mango,
Summer has arrived. When will you?

Ardent Fan.

4) Dear ATM,
Please start dispensing 10 rupee notes. Don’t you think it’s unreasonable to expect me to withdraw a minimum of Rs.100 when I have only Rs.90 left in my account? Please think about it.

Broke Customer

5) Sometimes, success is something as simple as the fact that your saree stayed on the entire evening.

6) I hte ppl hu typ lyk ths.

7) Is it really just a coincidence that ‘MALE’ is an anagram of ‘LAME’?

8) You can do all the reading you want, learn a lot of good words and even use them in your daily conversations. But when you play Scrabble, all you'll get is cat mat rat aim air sob dog no in an out on. So much for improving your vocabulary. :|

9) (Divya Nambiar) is in a relationship.
With Blogger. And Facebook. And her phone. And her laptop.
Somebody please intervene before she permanently settles down with them.

10) For all the times that I have licked clean the cream from a cream-biscuit and given the biscuit to my mom, she takes revenge on me by eating the egg-white and giving the yolk to me. :/ Sigh...

11) Somehow the charm of a water-proof kajal wears off once you've spent half an hour trying to scrub it off but still end up looking like a raccoon.

12) Criticism that comes with a smile is also known as sarcasm.

13) "I don't want to fall hopelessly in love. I want to be hopeful in love- hopeful of a future with the person I'm in love with, hopeful of a life together, hope of having someone to share my ups and downs,of finding the one who I want to wake up next to every single morning,of being with a person who will love me even through my bad hair days...Why would I want to feel hopeless in love?"

14) One of the sterling examples of the fact that humans, by nature, refuse to accept certain realities:- Pulling on a door that has 'PUSH' written on the handle in bold-all caps-75 point font.

15) To err is human.
To umm and uh is intellectual.

What are some of your favourite status updates? Your own, that is.


I watched Tintin. Sooper fun I had. :) Go watch it!

P.S: Keirthana, I haven't forgotten about your guest post. I just didn't want yet another guest post to be about FB. Sorry. :/ I promise I'll send yours soon.


  1. I like it when you write and make lists Chechi :) They are fun :D I love 6 (very obviously :D),12 and 15 the most :) I disappeared from FB too, like a month ago :) and I don't miss it you know :D, I myself am surprised :)
    I'll watch Tintin soon :):)
    I love you :)

  2. Very funny statuses these are. Make me wish you were still on FB and I could add you as a friend to read this stuff. People are very boring on FB these days.

  3. Wheee lol love the updates! :D Sexy! :D And I watched TinTin too, amazing fun I had! :D

  4. Awesome ones!! I loved 2,6,8,11 and 15! :D And I agree with Sumitra, fb has become rather boring. so I try to come up with witty statuses which nobody 'like'. hmph. :/

  5. I wish my status updates were half as clever as the ones above! Only you can make an entire posts out of status updates and still make the readers want to read the whole thing. Idhu nechural (natural) thane? :D

    The only status update I remember:
    I may be 18 years old, but I am yet to learn which goes into the bowl first- the cereal or the milk.

    I just realised why I've been single for the last 2 years. :P

  6. aaaaaaahaaaaaaaan..!!!!
    very witty statuses ladaay..!!
    and i sooo agre with you on the kajal thingy..!!
    bloody itna ghisne ke baad bhi i look as if i was born with dark circles..:P:P:P

    owwwww..tintin na..i heard it be nice..!!
    will watch sooner..:):)

    cheers !!

  7. and u re back right???not like PV..who posts sumthing and then adds at the end that she is not yet back...right???
    speaking of the status messages....:-) nice ones...

  8. Hahahahaaaa... loved the 2nd and 4th one :)
    Good one :)

  9. Absolute fun, your statuses are. Especially loved 4 and 5 :)

    And for the guest post, no problem :) My blog will wait :)

  10. What makes you go off FB ? I was off for a few weeks completely and now I am kind of in on off relationship with it ... Use it as a robust sharing tool,especially pics with family n friends :-) and statuses when come across a thought...

  11. Think the last status update of mine was sayin "OMGood Lord" to Stallone's new poster for EX-2(Expendables) .. n today the most popular status' r the lyrics of tht 'Kolavari' song :)

    Loved the intellectual one, amongst others :)

    Nice post, Spiff :)

  12. excellent status updates! almost made me look for the like tab :P

    i quit fb recently too..
    and yea, I have too many fav status msgs but they r either something someone said or something that ws relevant at that time.. so.. well.


  13. ha ha ! Maybe you could also get into a relationship with twitter too..some of these updates are tailor-made for twitter ! I need to watch Tintin now..everyone's just raving about the movie.

  14. HAHAHAHA ur frnds might be missing thr regular dose of awesome status updates by u!!
    Hhahah Loved the ummm and huh one the most!!

  15. @Ayu: Watch Tintin pronto. You'll really enjoy it! :)
    I the loves you toos. :)

    @sumitra: Thanks! :) The boring people are the exact reason I decided to quit FB. :P

    @DawnZhang: And those 3D glasses make you look so 'coooool' no?! :P

    @Krishna: Ah, not to worry sweety. A true genius is never recognised in his'her time. ;)

    @Loony: Hehe. I didn't really have a long post to write, so I thought, why not this. :)

    @meoww: Sacchi!! The kajal is everywhere but where it's supposed to be. :/ You should try Maybelline's Colossal Kajal. By far one of the best I've used!

    @Rahul: I wasn't really taking a break re. I just wasn't able to write. :) Jab likha jaayega mujhse, main likhoongi. Otherwise, no. Zimble. :)

  16. @Musings: Thank you.

    @Keirthana: Thanks, sweety. I'm really sorry for the delay.

    @Mohit: I just got bored of it, that's all. And some other reasons, that I've written in my post "Shades of blue". I even got tired of sharing. :/

    @R-A-J: Oh I heard and read about the Kolaveri song being just about everywhere!!
    And write, man, write! Why the hell aren't you writing more?!

    @Express: Hehe. Thanks. :)

    @Twitter: I typed in the username, password, and that verification code also for a twitter account. But just before I hit 'submit', I decided I don't want to be on Twitter and closed the page. :/

    @Red: Nobody's missing me. :( No one's telling me to be back. Sniff. :(

  17. I'm not on FB, never was, but I'll tell you to come back. Does this count :( ?...6,7,9 and 15 are EPIC :D...I've used 12 a lot too :)...TINTIN huh...I would help with my current frustration levels.

  18. Strike God knows how many for writing a post in which I can relate to completely!! Btw you don't like the yolk of an egg??!!!

  19. Yei! you are back :) It feels so good :) After you decided that you gonna get a break I had a loooong discussion with my sis on how much we both going to miss our daily (if not, then weekly) dose of laughter!

    Betwn feminist in me loved number 7..Ho ho!!!

    been there and done that..I can totally associate with 5..quiet true I must say ;)

  20. @Pinx: Arre, what'll I go to FB and do? I'm much happier here. :)

    @Deepthi: I love the egg-yolk. I was just drawing a comparison. :)

    @Richa: Hey there! So you finally decided to comment, huh? :)

  21. Yesh yesh..after all it was happiness I couldn’t hide :)

  22. HA! I bet you to it already!
    chck em out baby! and yea! urs are funnier... :/ (ego-bruised) :/

  23. ae yaaar...saala i added u and u deactivated ur account...and now i dont get these occasional pearls of wisdom. non sense.

    please come back na.

  24. You should get on Twitter then :p
    Great blog here.

  25. Here's mine for today.

    Thought for the Day : If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked?

  26. you're the favorite guest blogger. :)


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