November 10, 2011

The hippo breaks her silence

You know what’s the problem with having been thin all your life?

When you put on even a bit of weight, everyone gets shocked. They can’t digest it. They think something’s wrong with you.

Yup, that’s exactly what I’m going through now. Or rather, that’s what I’m being subjected to now.

When I went home in September, everyone, starting from the maid in my house to my neighbours, my friends to my dad’s friends, had only one question- “You’ve put on weight! What happened?!”

What do you mean, what happened? Biryani happened! Kebabs happened. Haleem happened! Cheesy pastas happened! My own cooking experiments involving generous amounts of ghee and cheese happened! Growing up happened! And also a bit of lack of exercise and some laziness. But those are just minor details.

Amma and Acha were happy to see a bit of flesh on me, especially Amma. She was delighted. And she tried to stuff me with more rice and fish. But I had heard so much of “You’ve put on weight” that I was scared to eat anymore. No one was actually calling me fat. They said that it was good weight, but they ended their sentences like this- “ You’re looking good, but don’t put on more weight.” :/ By the end of the trip, I was feeling like a hippo. It doesn’t at all help that I’m short and hence tend to look like a extra chubby if I put on weight. One friend even said I look beefy. :(

And yesterday I happened to go to my old office, Red FM. After they managed to close their open mouths after five full minutes, I got to hear some more of “What’s happened to you?!” But in their defense, the last time they saw me, even though I was only a bit thinner, my hair was longer and I was wearing specs. So I looked like a completely different person.

So from a girl who was so skinny, people thought her parents starved her, I’ve become the girl with sumo-wrestler arms and tomato-cheeks.

From a girl who laughed out loud at the mere mention of a diet, I’ve become the girl who thinks twice about eating Biryani.

From the girl who couldn’t imagine a meal that did not include rice, I have become the girl who doesn’t mind not eating rice for days together.

From a girl who used to obsess (and secretly rejoice) that her weight never hit 50, I’ve become the girl who whines when she sees the scales tipping towards 52.5.

From the girl who used to confidently buy any type of clothes because nothing used to look vulgar on her, I’ve become the girl who only picks out clothes that hide her figure.

From the girl who used to complain that even XS size is big for her sometimes, I’ve become the girl who has resigned herself to buying Medium sized clothing.

I know exercising is an option, but I’m yet to convince myself to do that. Right now I’m dealing with the wallowing-in-self-pity part of it.

And you know what’s the worst part? When I get depressed, I eat. :/ So it's like a vicious cycle. Eat-put on weight-people notice and comment-get depressed- and that'll bring us back to eat eat eat eat!

Nobody says “Hi,how’re you?” to me these days. It’s “Hi, you’ve put on weight!”

Yes, I KNOW that, dammit!!!


Do you like sambar? Then you should definitely check out this post!


  1. I wish i cud sympathize with u...but sadly i cant.


  2. Aw man putting on weight has it's own problems.. grr I keep hearing that dy in and day out.. Difference being I was only the chubby kid and then well hormonal changes tend to me me healthier..sooo it's quite annoying when people say hawww u put on weight.. It's natural.. Aaah!! :P

  3. happens! be happy that at least, at some point of time your weight was stable! with me it changes like price of gold, aaj kuch aur and kal kuch aur! :|

    makes a nice read! maybe we can share our gham! :P

  4. hmm i dont know why everyone is so fussed about weight.

    I am big and heavy so what .. as you say all those kebabs-food-beer-chicken and all that lovely food happened to me :)

    I have stopped weighting myself ..


  5. Hey Spiff, welcum to my side of the planet.. the fat world!!!

    I've been readin tht book by Rujitha n followin the book, I divided my daily 3 heavy meals into 6 lighter meals... tht ws a month ago.. nw I bloody eat 6 heavy meals a day!! :( Damn bloody book!! :(

    I can so relate to wht ur parents say.. mine did too.. nw they already knw I keepin gainin weight every time they see me... nw, their new rant is tht I'm gettin darker!!

    Wow, 55? I don't eve knw if my weighin machine hs tht denomination in it...

    as usual, nice read, Spiff :)

  6. Ohmygawd! I was the skinniest kid in school and college and then work happened,my own cooking happened, cheese and sizzlers happened and wait for it .. marriage and finally pregnancy happened.. now i don't see any signs of my 50kg self .. sigh! Watch out ,girl.. The universe starts conspiring against you right after you hit your 24-25th birthday..

  7. but arent people complimenting you on ur looks too recently???guess...u didnt turn into a hippoPOTamus....hippoHOTamus,maybe:-P So chill...:-)

  8. 52.5??!!! Seriously??!!! You get depressed for that??!!! You should try being on this side of the court my dear!! You should be having fun with that weight and buying what ever dress you want and eating what ever you want!!
    And I follow the same cycle :P!!
    P.S: One post where I could not find anything to relate to :(!! Except the cycle though

  9. Aiyo! You know if I were you, I would be so happy! Words like "You look fat" is like music to my ears. I wonder when I'll get to hear it on a regular basis. :(

    And don't let the words get you. :)

  10. I am on it with you, Spiff albeit I was never skinny. I was normal, above normal and now I feel I am over-weight! My guy says that I am getting paranoid. But nevertheless, joined aerobics class, 2 days back to get fit and reduce weight and now I wish I am dead! :(

  11. I Second Bikramjit.... Why all people are creating so much fuss about Weight.. ? i am huge but i am active which is important.. all are wanting to be slim and tired and in ill health.. i wont heed ear to their words and will go as nothing happened :) :) I know i am active and it should be the thing :) If you feel you are getting tired of your weight then its high time to think about over weight :):)

  12. Oh I'm still the girl who floats around in XS clothings!!! People still want me to put on some weight, only my chubby cheeks arte some saving grace. Off late I've noticed that all the ghee from the andhra mess, the cheese from the Dominoes Cheese Burst, butter from the butter naans are settling right on the ass!!! The boy is delighted with this outcome but now the girl who would easily slip into a waist 25 jeans, is struggling to keep up the waist 28 jeans!!! Ghor Kalyug I say, ghor Kalyug!!!

  13. I was skinny. i get the same response now. :( I was even called pumpkin :(

    I miss my exercises. Its what kept me fit :(

  14. I am living the bang opposite life. Been a big girl all my life, losing weight now and all people can say when they see me is.. "You have lost weight!! Thats grrrrreat!!"

    It kinda tells me that they used 2 judge me when I had the mass on me, you know?

    I'm a stress eater too. But then I moved 2 drinking when I'm stressed out. No no, not alcohol :P lipton ice tea, juices and stuff. Also, chewing gum works wonders. Gives you the sugar high and because of the chewing, the urges to eat disappear :)

    Hyd can actually lead to a lot of extra mass on you. The reason proly is the comparative slower life-style. And working out doesn't help. Eating less junk would.

    OK, i need 2 shut-up now :/

  15. story is quite same with fat people too..

    losing of even a bit of weight can bring them so many questions.. :)

  16. Sadly I`ve been on the other end of the spectrum so cannot, nay will not sympathize with you.

    Jeez 52.5 kilos, for crying out loud and such a racket for that.

    The party line is and will always be --> I`m in shape, round is a shape.

  17. I'm a foodie too and badly need some flesh and yes my mom too likes me that way :) If someone asks me the question of what happened, I wish I answer them soon :)

  18. @Kalpak: Heh. :P Hi-faive motu! :P

    @confused soul: I know. Even though I only put on like two kilos, everyone's making me feel as though I put on 10. :(

    @Paanipuri Lover:Yes yes, let's share our gham over some icecream, shall we? ;)

    @Bikramjit:I never used to be one of those who made a big deal about weight.But now, after hearing so much about it, I;m starting to feel conscious.:(

    @Raj: 52.5, not 55. :P
    The problem with me is, I don't like eating between meals, so I end up eating heavy meals. Maybe I really should eat between meals...

    @Bhargavi: Even I'm starting to believe that! That the universe has started conspiring against me once I turned 24. :(

    @Rahul: Well, I'mnot exactly getting compliemnts. I think they're saying "You look good" just to be kind. :/

    @Deepthi: I never used to depress about my weight re. But now,like I said, because just about everybody is noticing, it's starting to bother me. I know that's not a major weight, and it's ideal for my height. But no one's ever seen me with even this much of fat onme, hence the shock and judging. :/

    @Loony: Be careful what you wish for, sweety. I used to wish for this too. And now.. not so much.

  19. @Keirthana: Maybe we ARE being paranoid,no? :/

    @Ravishankar: I don't feel unhealthy or anything actually. You're right, it's more important to feel healthy with whatever weight you have. :) Thanks, that definitely did up my spirits. :)

    @Pinx: One on your fat ass only I'll give you! :( You're talking about XS and 28 size to me! :( THIS is ghor kalyug. :(

    @Srinidhi: When I was in HCU, cycling and all the walking used to keep me fit. I've never been the one to exercise. I've tried, but never went for more than one day. Somehow, sleep wins the battle. :(

    @Express: Oh yes, people will judge if there's toomuch fat on you as well. Too many opinions. :/
    Hyderabad lifestyle is laidback, to an extent. But it depends. Earlier, I used to stay far from the city and had to travel some 25 kms one way for work. ANd I used to run to catch the train everyday. SO all that travelling used to keep me fit.

    @sumukh: Seriously! Questions and opinions all over the place. :/

    @AS: I'm not creating a racket, everyone else is. :) I'm quite comfortable with it, actually. :)
    And yes, round can be a very attractive shape. :P

    @Pria: If someone asks, just behave as though there's something wrong with them for even asking something so preposterous.:P

  20. I am going to hit u real hard now...
    52.5 KG? For a chick who is 5'2 50-56 Kg is ideal weight. U r in ur ideal weight now. EAT my lov eat!! and I dont want to hear u saying u have tomato cheeks and r fat now. WHT IS THIS! I am feeling like a whale now :P

  21. Being a thin guy myself, I can (kinda) empathise with you here :D Then again, I've never had to bother too much about keeping a check on the amount of ghee / butter that I eat, since it never sits on me for long! I used to think that's not a very nice thing, but I don't think that anymore :P hehe

    Arnab Majumdar

  22. Welcome to my world :P
    And oye 50 ke liye you're getting so worked up? OMG, I toh should die only then :p
    Take care

  23. You are crying for being 52.5? What's wrong with you?! :-O

    Whoever that calls you fat is blind!

    Btw, my sister was skinny all her life, until she got married...and...had a baby. The one's who used to go 'Amma onnum thinnan tharunnille' are now going 'Ammayiamma nallonam tharunundallo'! Do I even need to hint how my mom reacts to that? :D

    I missed so many of your posts! :( Lemme go and catch up.

    But how could you miss my once-in-a-blue-moon post? *Sob!*

  24. @Red: Err.. actually, I do have tomato cheeks. Always had. My cheeks is where I put on weight first. Then arms. Then the tummy.
    And I know it's an ideal weight, but hearing it from too many people has made ME feel like a whale. :(

    @Arnab: Even I never used to bother about it! I've been blessed with a superb metabolism. Nothing really sits on me for long either. But I guess my metabolism is getting tired of being too fast all the time. Hence the weight. :( TO be frank, the rate at which I eat, any other girl would be 70 kgs by now.

    @Blahblaholic: Heh. :) I guess I should stop obsessing over it then. :)

    @Destiny's Child: Hehe. :) Ya, I can imagine what your mom must be feeling. :D
    And I did read that post, sweety. I just didn't comment. Because I was in a blah phase then. You'll see when you go back a few posts and read 'Eskoos me'. Sowwie. :(

  25. vote for this post completely. Been there, people have done that to me too. when we are slim, people want us to put on weight. and once we are done, all they do is point it out every time.

  26. Muchos gracias.. I was wondering where so much traffic was coming from ..:-) .. 250ml old monk for you !

  27. I need to put on weight real bad!! I wont even mind being called "beefy"!!

  28. You know what, my comment didn't come . I had thought I'd commented on this post a day ago. But it didn't get posted, it looks like, yeah.. I can totally understand because I was a 49. some one not a very long time ago. I got into the 50s category when I got married and then into 70s (Actually touched 75 just before delivery) when I got pregnant, now resigned to 55-56 Kg.. Not going back to the 40s again I think. But it is not a bad thing if we can get to maintain a constant good weight..And being around 50 Kg is not a hippo. hippos weigh much more than that.. Lovely write.

  29. You should chuck what people say!! You have just one life, so eat and enjoy :P

  30. aaaaaaan...don't listen to what they say..!!!
    kuch toh log kahenge..
    logon ka kaaam hai kehena...

    you enjoy ..
    bass :D


  31. Aww..I did come to know when I read eskoos me, but got carried away with the interesting points you raised in it. Here take the gun, shoot the blah phase! B) Okay, sorry! That was a really lame attempt at trying to sound funny ;)

  32. Ahem!! Only two words (or is it one?) *Show-off*. You can't see me, but I have just pulled out a bar of chocoloate to help me tide over the depression your post has just taken me into! And by jove, you must be the hippo with the best figure! 52? Am going into depression again! And read this to understand why !

  33. Nooooooooo. Eat woman eat!

    Let people talk whatever they want. They are just envious that we are skinny but they are not. Love yourself the way you are and wallowing in self pity is a no no.

    I'm an XS too and proud. Even if I'd turn M or L someday, I'd still feel the same I'm sure :)

  34. Ah people are so not subtle, are they...especially when it comes to weight. I'm sure my sis will be able to empathise more with you...she used to be very skinny when younger anad suddenly around the 8th or 9th std she put on weight and had the comments...and continues to get some. ME on the other hand, I've never been really when I do lose weight, I get comments then.

  35. 52.5 is not overweight. It's just fine. :P People will comment on anything. They always keep telling me that I need to lose weight, and when I did, they were complaining that I lost too much weight. Crazy it is, don't listen to anyone but your body.

  36. @All: Thank you so much for the morale-boosting. :)
    And sorry for not reply individually. Work, spontilitis and all that jazz. :/

  37. It's no big deal. Maybe you are not used to being 'healthy' (as people would refer to this, politely). But I am used to this and more - maybe a post on this is overdue. I might as well write about it!

  38. I always hear this when I visit my hometown, "Oh! You're looking so thin, don't you eat anything?" or "Enta ingane ksheenichirikkunnathu?" or multiple other variations of that; no matter how healthy I'm looking. Probably your weighing scale is making you notice the comments finally.

  39. grr i so hate that part of "you have put opn weight bit'.. grr annoying .. :(

    i so agree by this ..From the girl who used to confidently buy any type of clothes because nothing used to look vulgar on her, I’ve become the girl who only picks out clothes that hide her figure.

    i do that often these days .. sigh :( .. :P

  40. I don't get to hear that very often these days - cuz I haven't lost any weight in the first place.. :(


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