Every girl, irrespective of how mature, practical and sensible she may seem to be, has read at least one trashy romance novel in her teenage. No doubt. Bet.
The other day, i was browsing in a book store( but of course, where else would i go?). Picked up a couple of books that i liked, and then i just went to the far-end of the store. It was one of those all-year-long-sale kinda places, where you get new books at a discount, and second-hand books for real cheap. And there i found, a virtual treasure trove of romance novels. unbelievable collection, i must admit. Teenage romances, war love stories, raunchy tales..i couldnt even reach the top of the book-shelf.I picked up a couple of random books, and i found myself rewinding to 7-8 years back. I started smiling to myself, thinking of all the mills and boons and other romance novels that i used to hog on.
Of course, none of that contributed towards making me any more romantic, but that's besides the point.
The damsel-in-distress who's saved by her knight-in-shining-armour; the independant strong working woman who becomes vulnerable when she meets the man of her dreams, who also happens to be a hunk to die for; the helpless woman who's kidnapped by the hunk of a villain, who makes love to her so passionately that she actually forgets to try and escape; teenage romances about stolen kisses in the school corridor.
Girls- i know you're smiling, thinking of the books you've read on the sly, hiding it from your mom.
Guys- you probably think its silly, but i bet your sisters and girlfriends have read it at some point of time or the other. And most of you too.
I remember, me and my friend meera- we used to be crazy about these books. if either of us got a book, we would let the other borrow it, and even give the page numbers where the romantic scenes are.lol..[:D]..i used to live in that fantasy world, where i would dream of that tall, dark, handsome hero of my dreams, who'l come and just sweep me off my feet and passionately kiss me. Then he'l whisk me off to his secret exotic cottage where he would make love to me all day and all night.
I know, half of you are scandalised by now by my confessions. Point to be noted: these are confessions of a 15-year old girl.
So finally, i ended up buying two of those novels, and reading it made me feel 15 again. The age of candy-floss dreams and giggles and secrets with girl friends and first crushes, and then the second third fourth crushes [:)].
It was indeed a magical age, wasn't it?
I miss being 15. And maari, i miss giggling with you.
March 15, 2010
February 23, 2010
Timbuctoo to Malgudi via Jhumrithalaiyya
I may be a working professional now. But somewhere inside me resides that college girl who had nothing to worry about in this world.
I may be an independent girl now, but still alive is that girl who would ask her mom for money to buy a maaza or a mango delite at the college store.
I may be travelling alone back home at ten in the night now, but deep inside me, is the girl who wouldn’t even catch a bus back from college without Sree telling her which bus to get into.
I may have been made strong due to circumstances, but that girl who used to cry silently in bed at night during her last year in college, her ghost still hovers around.
People don’t change; circumstances do.
My best friend from college, Sree, got engaged. Engaged. To be married in August.
Wow. Have we grown up or what.
I just can’t believe that she’s getting married in a few months time. Actually, I can’t believe that I’ve come so far from the day I first sat in the college bus, nervous, apprehensive, but also excited at the thought that I’m going to college. College!!! That, for me, was equivalent to getting into Hogwarts. It was a magical world. But then, I’d never been to college, and as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. When you’re in kindergarten, you want to be in school. When in school, you always get excited at the thought of going to the next class. And then, you can’t wait to start college.
The prospect of not having to wear uniforms is the most exciting aspect of going to college. I remember, going shopping for clothes before college began. I was super-excited. But then, once I had finished wearing one round of all the new clothes, I was bored. I started wishing that I didn’t have to go through the ritual of opening the cupboard every morning, scanning the clothes I had for ten-fifteen minutes even though I knew I was late, and finally picking up the first dress I could lay my hands on and rushing, because my bus-driver definitely wouldn’t empathise with my predicament.
When you’re in college, after the initial fun wears off and you remove your rose-tinted glasses (or any other shades that are in vogue then- and believe me, I’ve seen quite many colours), you then want the bigger picture. To be free of shackles, to have your own money, to be answerable to no one except yourself. It happens to everybody. No matter how much you deny it, it will catch on some time or the other.
But as I said, the grass is, and always will be, greener on the other side. Once you start working, you’ll always want to turn back time. You’ll find that you’re broke by the tenth of the month, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. You would want to bunk office, and start wishing that if only it was college, it would be so easy to bunk. You wish you were back in the back bench of your class, so that you can sleep in the afternoon after lunch break.
We’re never happy, are we?
P.S: By now, you all must be wondering what the point of this post is. Started in Timbuctoo, moved on to Jhumrithalaiyya, and ended in Malgudi. Well, that’s what happens when you take too long to write a blog. You tend to lose track.
Apologies.
I may be an independent girl now, but still alive is that girl who would ask her mom for money to buy a maaza or a mango delite at the college store.
I may be travelling alone back home at ten in the night now, but deep inside me, is the girl who wouldn’t even catch a bus back from college without Sree telling her which bus to get into.
I may have been made strong due to circumstances, but that girl who used to cry silently in bed at night during her last year in college, her ghost still hovers around.
People don’t change; circumstances do.
My best friend from college, Sree, got engaged. Engaged. To be married in August.
Wow. Have we grown up or what.
I just can’t believe that she’s getting married in a few months time. Actually, I can’t believe that I’ve come so far from the day I first sat in the college bus, nervous, apprehensive, but also excited at the thought that I’m going to college. College!!! That, for me, was equivalent to getting into Hogwarts. It was a magical world. But then, I’d never been to college, and as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. When you’re in kindergarten, you want to be in school. When in school, you always get excited at the thought of going to the next class. And then, you can’t wait to start college.
The prospect of not having to wear uniforms is the most exciting aspect of going to college. I remember, going shopping for clothes before college began. I was super-excited. But then, once I had finished wearing one round of all the new clothes, I was bored. I started wishing that I didn’t have to go through the ritual of opening the cupboard every morning, scanning the clothes I had for ten-fifteen minutes even though I knew I was late, and finally picking up the first dress I could lay my hands on and rushing, because my bus-driver definitely wouldn’t empathise with my predicament.
When you’re in college, after the initial fun wears off and you remove your rose-tinted glasses (or any other shades that are in vogue then- and believe me, I’ve seen quite many colours), you then want the bigger picture. To be free of shackles, to have your own money, to be answerable to no one except yourself. It happens to everybody. No matter how much you deny it, it will catch on some time or the other.
But as I said, the grass is, and always will be, greener on the other side. Once you start working, you’ll always want to turn back time. You’ll find that you’re broke by the tenth of the month, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. You would want to bunk office, and start wishing that if only it was college, it would be so easy to bunk. You wish you were back in the back bench of your class, so that you can sleep in the afternoon after lunch break.
We’re never happy, are we?
P.S: By now, you all must be wondering what the point of this post is. Started in Timbuctoo, moved on to Jhumrithalaiyya, and ended in Malgudi. Well, that’s what happens when you take too long to write a blog. You tend to lose track.
Apologies.
January 17, 2010
Something for the new year...
Well, my first post for the new year. Took me some time, ya i know. But its ok. Better late than never, kadha?
The new year's been ok so far, it's only 18 days old. Spent the first day of new year packing and moving from my beautiful apartment. Ha, all good things must come to an end, so I’ve heard. Some lessons, I never learn. When my folks sold 'Flat no.___, Woodlands Apts, Jagathy, TVM', the address I’d been writing as mine everywhere ever since I remembered, I think i took it the hardest. I couldn’t believe that my home could be anywhere but flat no.___. And worse, I couldn’t even dream of someone else living there, in my room!! That was, like, my whole life. That’s where I lived for the most important years of my life. I just loved that house, the balcony, the awesome view it had, the constant breeze that kept blowing away papers and clothes and what not…I lived there, grew up there.
And then, after living there for 14 years, we moved. We moved to another flat in the same building. But it just wasn’t the same. It was not the same view. It was not the same floor. The neighbours were different. I still would press the number 4 button in the lift instead of number 3. And then, gradually, got used to the new house, the new address, the new flat number. By then I was studying in HCU, so I didn’t spend much time also there. At the end of the day, whatever it may be, home is home.
And then, when I moved into my house in Hyderabad with my roomie, we just fell in love with that flat. So much so that, even after she moved out, I continued living there, shelling out more than half my salary towards rent. It had become a standing joke for my folks and friends. It looked as though I was earning so that my house owner could pay off her loans.:). And I wouldn’t even get a roommate, coz I couldn’t stand the thought of sharing my house with someone unknown (although some others thought I was living alone for some hidden agenda. Well, as always, b@#%s to them). I just loved that house so much!!! For once, the practical side of me took a back-seat and continued denying that it was burning a hole in my pocket. But then, took a reality check, and kicked the practical side of me awake from its long slumber, and decided to move out. I added a bit of symbolism also to it, and considered it as leaving behind the past one year and all things associated with it behind me and starting anew. It was catharsis, in my own style(No offence to Mr.Aristotle)
So, here I am, in my new house, which I’m just setting up. The going’s good so far. I hope it continues.
The narcissist signs off…so long!
The new year's been ok so far, it's only 18 days old. Spent the first day of new year packing and moving from my beautiful apartment. Ha, all good things must come to an end, so I’ve heard. Some lessons, I never learn. When my folks sold 'Flat no.___, Woodlands Apts, Jagathy, TVM', the address I’d been writing as mine everywhere ever since I remembered, I think i took it the hardest. I couldn’t believe that my home could be anywhere but flat no.___. And worse, I couldn’t even dream of someone else living there, in my room!! That was, like, my whole life. That’s where I lived for the most important years of my life. I just loved that house, the balcony, the awesome view it had, the constant breeze that kept blowing away papers and clothes and what not…I lived there, grew up there.
And then, after living there for 14 years, we moved. We moved to another flat in the same building. But it just wasn’t the same. It was not the same view. It was not the same floor. The neighbours were different. I still would press the number 4 button in the lift instead of number 3. And then, gradually, got used to the new house, the new address, the new flat number. By then I was studying in HCU, so I didn’t spend much time also there. At the end of the day, whatever it may be, home is home.
And then, when I moved into my house in Hyderabad with my roomie, we just fell in love with that flat. So much so that, even after she moved out, I continued living there, shelling out more than half my salary towards rent. It had become a standing joke for my folks and friends. It looked as though I was earning so that my house owner could pay off her loans.:). And I wouldn’t even get a roommate, coz I couldn’t stand the thought of sharing my house with someone unknown (although some others thought I was living alone for some hidden agenda. Well, as always, b@#%s to them). I just loved that house so much!!! For once, the practical side of me took a back-seat and continued denying that it was burning a hole in my pocket. But then, took a reality check, and kicked the practical side of me awake from its long slumber, and decided to move out. I added a bit of symbolism also to it, and considered it as leaving behind the past one year and all things associated with it behind me and starting anew. It was catharsis, in my own style(No offence to Mr.Aristotle)
So, here I am, in my new house, which I’m just setting up. The going’s good so far. I hope it continues.
The narcissist signs off…so long!
November 23, 2009
Whats life without passion?
What's life without passion?
Have you ever wondered?
Living your entire life, not being passionate about anything or anyone...wow, what an empty life that would be.
I can't ever imagine living like that, you know. without having a rush of emotions for something. and it doesn't have to be a person. it can be anything. you can be passionate about music, books, politics, your career. just about anything. and if it is for a person, then wow, nothing like it.
i know people who're passionate about things in life. about music, about studies, about politics. and it's so inspiring to see them, you know. so awesome to see their zest for life.
and then, when i thought about it, i realised. i DO have a passion. A passion for life. i love my life. and i love living it. i mean, ya sure, there are ups and downs. thats what makes it more beautiful, right? i don't get depressed easily, i dont let things, or people, affect me easily. sure, i may get down for the moment, but then i'm back on track. things have happened in my life, times where i've had doubts about myself. but ya, thanks to some amazing people in my life, i again feel on top of the world. some may find it arrogant, some insensitive. to all of them i say "b#*%s!!!".
Let's face it- you should first learn to love yourself. if you cant, then there's no point in living your life. yes, its divine to love others, i get it. but first 'i me myself' should be your motto. sure, it may sound vain and arrogant. but u gotta say it like it is, right?
so on that note, the narcissist signs off...remember, love thy self.
(P.S: dedicated to a certain other narcissist like me).
Have you ever wondered?
Living your entire life, not being passionate about anything or anyone...wow, what an empty life that would be.
I can't ever imagine living like that, you know. without having a rush of emotions for something. and it doesn't have to be a person. it can be anything. you can be passionate about music, books, politics, your career. just about anything. and if it is for a person, then wow, nothing like it.
i know people who're passionate about things in life. about music, about studies, about politics. and it's so inspiring to see them, you know. so awesome to see their zest for life.
and then, when i thought about it, i realised. i DO have a passion. A passion for life. i love my life. and i love living it. i mean, ya sure, there are ups and downs. thats what makes it more beautiful, right? i don't get depressed easily, i dont let things, or people, affect me easily. sure, i may get down for the moment, but then i'm back on track. things have happened in my life, times where i've had doubts about myself. but ya, thanks to some amazing people in my life, i again feel on top of the world. some may find it arrogant, some insensitive. to all of them i say "b#*%s!!!".
Let's face it- you should first learn to love yourself. if you cant, then there's no point in living your life. yes, its divine to love others, i get it. but first 'i me myself' should be your motto. sure, it may sound vain and arrogant. but u gotta say it like it is, right?
so on that note, the narcissist signs off...remember, love thy self.
(P.S: dedicated to a certain other narcissist like me).
June 15, 2009
My tryst with life
Long time since i sat down to pen a few words. Same excuse as i've been using, all these days to everyone..too busy, no time, no energy. the side-effects of being employed.
Things are going well work-wise. Graduated from being 'trainee producer' to 'producer'. And i'm enjoying what i'm doing. after all, this is what i've been wanting to do for a really long time. and i dont have to sit at one place and work for a long time..thats the best part.
Work, i like..not too sure about the people at work, though. some are good, some not so good. have made a few friends. but still dont know whether they're friends or just acquaintances.We'l see.
I love my new home. but sadly, i hardly get time to spend there. leave home at 8:30, get back by 9. i just get a sunday. and i cherish those sundays. i'm fiercely possessive about 'my sunday'. only extreme boredom and emergencies can get me out of the house. and the former has never really been an issue with me. I dont really have a problem being alone, roaming around the city alone. It's starting to alarm me, in fact. the lack of company does not seem to bother me at all. and i dont like it if ppl stay at my place for too long. its like, ok,this is my space, you should leave now.. not a good sign.
Some days, wen i hear others in my office say that they need to get home early coz their parents will be waiting for them, i feel a stab. that there is no one back home waiting for me except my roomie, no mom to get worried abt where i am and why i'm late, no dad to pick me up if i get too late. but now, i sometimes like the fact that i'm not answerable to anybody but myself. its a strange feeling.
I'm enjoying my independance.and my solitary lifestyle.
Things are going well work-wise. Graduated from being 'trainee producer' to 'producer'. And i'm enjoying what i'm doing. after all, this is what i've been wanting to do for a really long time. and i dont have to sit at one place and work for a long time..thats the best part.
Work, i like..not too sure about the people at work, though. some are good, some not so good. have made a few friends. but still dont know whether they're friends or just acquaintances.We'l see.
I love my new home. but sadly, i hardly get time to spend there. leave home at 8:30, get back by 9. i just get a sunday. and i cherish those sundays. i'm fiercely possessive about 'my sunday'. only extreme boredom and emergencies can get me out of the house. and the former has never really been an issue with me. I dont really have a problem being alone, roaming around the city alone. It's starting to alarm me, in fact. the lack of company does not seem to bother me at all. and i dont like it if ppl stay at my place for too long. its like, ok,this is my space, you should leave now.. not a good sign.
Some days, wen i hear others in my office say that they need to get home early coz their parents will be waiting for them, i feel a stab. that there is no one back home waiting for me except my roomie, no mom to get worried abt where i am and why i'm late, no dad to pick me up if i get too late. but now, i sometimes like the fact that i'm not answerable to anybody but myself. its a strange feeling.
I'm enjoying my independance.and my solitary lifestyle.
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