The Mermaids and Mermen

Dedicated to all the drunkards out there, especially, my drunken friends.

Have you noticed that there are many kinds of drunk people out there? Let me tell you.

1) The emotional ones.
After two pegs, they become sappy and emotional. They start recollecting the old times, how good life was back then, and most of all, they say ‘I love you’ to everyone and anyone. They might even say ‘I love you’ to the guy who delivered food. Trust me, it’s a treat to have them around.

2) The debaters
They might be quiet as a mouse when sober, but when drunk, they have to debate about everything under the sun. The budget, Indo-Pak, Katrina Kaif’s accent, who has a better ass- Kareena or Priyanka, etc. You get the picture. If you’re drinking with them, be careful not to get too vocal, they might just throw a glass at you or break a beer bottle on your head.

3) The singers/musicians.
The hidden/ aspiring singer in them comes out after a couple of drinks. And the ones who are already singers and musucians go full-throttle. Then it’s a night-long gaanamela. Trust me, it’s fun, whether they sing well or not.

4) The sobbers
They cry. They just cry. For reasons known, unknown, unfathomable- they cry. For things lost, for things unattainable, for actions regretted, for words spoken wrongly, for a speck of dust on the floor, for power-cut, for water-shortage, for a dress that doesn’t fit anymore. All they need is a patient ear. And a box of tissues.

5) The phone-callers
Once they’re drunk, they simply HAVE to call someone. Even if it is at 2 in the morning, they have to call and talk to someone. And these guys will not have the faintest memory of what they spoke the last night in the morning. They will check their call log, see that they made a call, and will call the person and ask them what they spoke. More often than not, it will be something very very embarrassing.

6) The gigglers/ Happy high-ers.
They giggle at everything. Even the saddest of PJ’s will set off a giggle-fit, and it’s hard to stop them. They’re nice to have in the group because they break any sort of tension the debaters might cause. They’re generally very happy once drunk and have a smile plastered on their faces all throughout.

7) The Dhinchaks.
They simply have to dance to Bollywood dhin-chak numbers once they’re drunk. And that too at full volume.

8) The intellectual ones.
They start quoting Nietzsche and Whatsisname. Sometimes, they might be quoting themselves, but make it sound as though some great philosopher said it. And they will suddenly remember theories that they had learnt in university. Slight pain-in-the-you-know-where to have them around if you are not the kind who wants to listen to intellectual nonsense when the original plan was to unwind after a long hard week.

9) The ramblers
They just go off the tangent. They’ll start at Point A, go to Point K, and end up in Point Y, never to return to Point A. They might not even need an audience.

10) The brats.
They become absolutely difficult to have around. They’ll sulk, they’ll cry, they pout, they’ll demand for booze at three in the morning, and will make a scene if you don’t get it for them. The brattiness is cute initially, but after a while, you’ll just want to give them one on their ass and tell them to shove it.

And then there are those who think they’ve lost their nose. :)

What kind are you? And how many other kinds do you think there are?