It was new.
And yet so familiar.
As though they’d been doing it for ages. As though they sit close together, legs casually intertwined, his hand around her shoulder, talking about movies, every day. As if lying in bed together, talking about their travel tales while taking momentary breaks to kiss, was a routine they followed every day. As though ripping each other’s clothes off came so easily because they do it every night. You would never know by the synchronized breathing that this was their first time, and most likely the last. The way their bodies merged, setting fire to the already hot afternoon. The way her breasts fit in his palms so perfectly. How he knew exactly where she liked to be caressed. The way she left just the tiniest little mark on his ribs, so that his girlfriend wouldn’t see it. The way he knew exactly when to enter her, without she asking him for it, something her boyfriend never seemed to catch on to. The slow beginning. The steady rise in tempo. The arching of backs and locking of eyes and limbs. The gentle moans and desperate groans. The whimpers from her when he kept pulling out, torturing her oh so sweetly, and then pushing right back in, swallowing her gasp with a kiss as he did so. His strong arms pinning her to the bed, although there’s nowhere else she would rather be just then. That look in his eyes that told her that he was on the brink, holding on just for her. The look in her eyes that was telling him to break loose and let the pure lust overpower them. It was as though they lay together every day, having the most nonsensical and atypical of pillow talks, discussing everything from politics to horror movies, taking momentary breaks to kiss, running their hands over each other’s bodies, examining each other’s tattoos. The body was new, and yet, the touch so familiar. His fingers tracing the curve of her hips, her lips showering little kisses on his neck. His hands absentmindedly playing with her nipples as he rambled on about how stifling commitments can be, unaware of the storm stirring up inside her again.
It was new.
And yet, so familiar.
I've always been intrigued by erotic literature. I believe it so much more difficult to arouse your senses through words than it is through visuals. This is my very first attempt. And I'd like some honest feedback, please? But be nice, ya? Thanks!
And yet so familiar.
As though they’d been doing it for ages. As though they sit close together, legs casually intertwined, his hand around her shoulder, talking about movies, every day. As if lying in bed together, talking about their travel tales while taking momentary breaks to kiss, was a routine they followed every day. As though ripping each other’s clothes off came so easily because they do it every night. You would never know by the synchronized breathing that this was their first time, and most likely the last. The way their bodies merged, setting fire to the already hot afternoon. The way her breasts fit in his palms so perfectly. How he knew exactly where she liked to be caressed. The way she left just the tiniest little mark on his ribs, so that his girlfriend wouldn’t see it. The way he knew exactly when to enter her, without she asking him for it, something her boyfriend never seemed to catch on to. The slow beginning. The steady rise in tempo. The arching of backs and locking of eyes and limbs. The gentle moans and desperate groans. The whimpers from her when he kept pulling out, torturing her oh so sweetly, and then pushing right back in, swallowing her gasp with a kiss as he did so. His strong arms pinning her to the bed, although there’s nowhere else she would rather be just then. That look in his eyes that told her that he was on the brink, holding on just for her. The look in her eyes that was telling him to break loose and let the pure lust overpower them. It was as though they lay together every day, having the most nonsensical and atypical of pillow talks, discussing everything from politics to horror movies, taking momentary breaks to kiss, running their hands over each other’s bodies, examining each other’s tattoos. The body was new, and yet, the touch so familiar. His fingers tracing the curve of her hips, her lips showering little kisses on his neck. His hands absentmindedly playing with her nipples as he rambled on about how stifling commitments can be, unaware of the storm stirring up inside her again.
It was new.
And yet, so familiar.
I've always been intrigued by erotic literature. I believe it so much more difficult to arouse your senses through words than it is through visuals. This is my very first attempt. And I'd like some honest feedback, please? But be nice, ya? Thanks!
oh my my my!! I could definitely feel my breath quickening ;) I didn't know you had it in you to come up with something like this. I am certainly impressed. I would have loved to read some more dei. A very very good first attempt I feel. You should certainly explore more of this genre. I have been wanting to write some myself forever.
ReplyDeletePlease blog more often, ya? :*
Cheers only darling
Thank you, darling!
DeleteIt's a good attempt definitely, a lot of intimacy building - but more like a pleasant read than something to flare up imagination in my opinion. I have tried to learn this genre for some time and even though I almost never succeeded, I feel what mistakes are not to be repeated.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that honest feedback. I shall definitely work more on it. :)
DeleteHey great writing. I could fully relate this to real incident narrated by a friend of mine. This has really happened to her with a casual friend at work. Instead of hiding from boyfriend and girl friend it was husband and wife. and they had a second and third time before we thought it's going to be risky and stopped.
ReplyDeleteHey, thank you for stopping by :)
DeleteWe want more ! (This was brilliant for a first attempt)
ReplyDeleteAnd you are back and back with a bang!! Looking forward to more! Understand that you are trying to be the devoted wifey, but pleaaasssseeee do try to be half as regular with your blogs as you were prior to your marriage...!!!
ReplyDeleteDevoted wifey, my ass. :D It is sheer laziness and lack of inspiration that is keeping me from writing.
DeleteAnd thank you. :)
Hello!
ReplyDeleteIt is quite good for a first attempt but I agree with a reader who has commented earlier - it is more pleasant than passionate. I cannot suggest improvements, however, never having tried to write in this genre.
Speaking of which, my favourite piece of erotic writing is a passage from Salman Rushdie's novel The Moor's Last Sigh. The brilliance of the passage lies in the fact... er, on second thoughts, I'd rather not say, because it is better read than spoken about.
Hi Spiffy!
ReplyDeleteMore than erotic, I found it an honest account of a couple's intimacy. But this is how I like my erotic literature. Too much moaning and gasping and ransacking about, grosses me out. Good first attempt :)