April 30, 2012

On the market

So people, I’m on the market now. The Marriage Market.


Acha made me register on some matrimonial website, with the most decent-looking pic I could find, and one long description about me and about the kind of partner I’m looking for.

I did it just to get Acha off my back, because I'm in no way ready to get married right now. I created the profile and then left it to him to handle it.

Wrong call.

Because what do I see now when I open the account? My dad has sent ‘interest’ to countless moustached Mallu uncles with pot-bellies who are ‘simple guy loves family looking 4 true luv’.

:/

If there are any Mallu guys reading this, then I’m sorry. I really am. But you gotta admit, mallu men are not the best-looking guys on earth. You’ll find one in a hundred. Alright, I admit, I’m not a Vidya Balan myself. I’m short, dusky, wear spectacles, have a large nose that would give even Ganesha ji competition, and as of now, my ‘physical structure’ is ‘average’ rather than ‘slim’. But that doesn’t mean I should get married to a guy who looks older than my dad no?! And yes yes, looks are not the most important thing, it’s the person that matters and blah blah. But hey, I have to spend the rest of my life with the guy. I need to be able to look at his face day in and day out, right? As shallow as this may make me seem, I’m not willing to spend the rest of my life with a guy who resembles an 80’s Mallu movie villain (I’m not exaggerating. My dad actually did send interest to someone who looked like that. And went ahead and got the horoscopes checked also, after which he’s telling me that it matches perfectly and that the ‘party’ is very interested. :/ I told him that while I may not be Miss Universe material, I don’t think I can get married to a guy who looks older than my dad.) I'm not searching for an Adonis either, but at least not someone who considers a moustache to be the ultimate symbol of manhood. I don’t like guys with moustache, unless it’s accompanied by a French beard or stubble. And the worst part is that Mallu men without moustache are hard to come by!

If it’s not the looks, it’s the name. I mean, seriously! What is it with us Malayalis and the fixation for bad names!! There was a slightly interesting profile that I was checking out. Looks ok-ok, job ok-ok, etc. Then I read the name. Shine. :/ Can you even imagine what my kids’ names would be like, with that as a surname? They would sound like the brand names of liquid bleach. Or like the name of a dry-cleaning store! Another guy had a name that was just one letter different from the camera-brand Nikon. I don’t judge him. I judge his parents. Why would they do that to their own flesh and blood?! And don’t even get me started on Mallus and their fixation for the sound ‘sh’ in names. They just love it. while most names are good, some of them are so imaginative, it’s ridiculous.

In my ‘Partner preference’, I’ve given one lamba-chauda list of requirements, not at all on the lines of ‘seeking groom from good family background’. There’s actually a long list of things, starting from ‘preferably a Nambiar, so that I don’t have to change my surname’ to ‘someone who loves Calvin and Hobbes’. I think most of them got scared away just reading that. :/ Because no one seems to be falling for me. No one good, anyways. :(  The ones who do show some interest make me want to become a nun.

One dude (or whoever created his profile) replied to my dad’s message- “Dear father please give clear and polite partner preference and please remind this to your daughter and marriage is not at all a business deal”. It isn’t? Then why was he paying money to look for a partner on the internet? :/ Well, actually I'm not surprised he responded like that, because in my ‘About me’, I've written “My forte is humour and satire, so if you don’t get sarcasm, chances are you won’t like me at all”. Well, I was right about that, wasn’t I?!

Another guy who expressed in me claims to be a blogger, but also mentions that we can’t find his blog by typing his name. Seriously, dude? And his paragraphs were like loose motion- no full stop, comma, or punctuations of any sort.

Ok, so maybe proper grammar is hardly the thing you look for in a prospective life partner. There are a lot of other things that matter, like income, family background, personality, etc. But it matters to me! I tend to judge people based on their grammar and how well they can write. WHAT do I do about it?! Do you think I’ll die alone, surrounded by grammar books? :(

And a couple of them had the nerve to send me friend request on FB. Did they REALLY think I would accept their request? Seriously?! Damn you, FB!

I think my dad truly believes that the world will indeed come to an end in December 2012. I can’t see any other reason why he would be in a hurry to get me married off to one of those. I would rather die single than Mrs. Thick Moustache.

Damn. It does look like I’ll die all alone in a room surrounded by grammar books, no? :/

89 comments:

  1. :D

    been there, done that.

    You will get even more lamer 'interests'...just say a big NO even if do not like a single thing. Surely your pa would not marry you against your wish, so just enjoy the game :)

    -Visha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooo! He knows better than to force me into something. :p He knows his daughter very well.

      Delete
  2. Lol Spiffy! Can I see your matrimonial profile?? :P I hear you though about the looks...I don't think it's completely shallow because I think you need to be physically attracted to someone. Now that someone may not be the prototype of physical attractiveness but they are attractive to you. And I'm so with you on the moustache!!! Dying alone with books is not so bad...I think that's where I'm headed. Books and cats! :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am sure you will get one hell of a guy who not only deserves you but will also be a grammar nazi like you :D!! Till then enjoy life..!!!
    And I too think marriage is a business deal. If not why would people spend crores and crores for the reunion of two individuals. We could as well just sign a paper in a registration office and get over with it!
    Marriage and the hungama that follows is truly something I have never been able to understand. And I don't think I will as well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously, no! Why spend so much of money for one single day? Total waste of money. That money could be put to better use like buying a house or something no? :/

      Delete
  4. Your grammar nazi-ness is totally justified...
    Your kids wont take it when you pull their ears for wrong grammar while their father is worse at it...:P
    Although a little compromise on that front is okay...you can make your guy write impositions n fix minor errors, you know...I made my boyfriend do that :P.

    ReplyDelete
  5. blahahahahahhaa..
    Dei...whaaaaat Dei...reading the same thing again is also making me laugh okay...pfffttt...men are mental..
    they feel wumen cant be so demanding..what nonsense only..
    anything..
    aaaaaa...whaaaaa??good grammar is a NECESSITY for me also.
    oooo....i swear...thick mustachioed men are such a
    NO - NO. i mean..imagine the hassles while kissing them..bleckkkk !!! :P :P :P
    aaaa...one of my Dad's colleagues was called Mr.Shine. & i always used to wonder..what exactly "shines" in his body..?? khi khi khi
    i just can't imagine marrying a guy who wouldn't the difference between is and are and the and use it wantonly.
    i will simply DIE..
    don't worry maaa...some awesome-sauce guy will come flipping for you and keep you like queen of his world..
    till then enjoy the wine till it lasts..!!!

    cheers!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honey, you're the only one who understood the moustache-dilemma. HOW will I kiss a guy with that thick foliage of hair blocking the way?! :/ Ewww!!!

      Delete
  6. Honey,
    Trust me... This part of your life is going to be sooo much fun!!initially.(cos you get to laugh at a lot of lame men !, yes the bald, pot bellied, MUCCHAD uncles)...... and later a bit sickening ( you're gonna get tired of clicking the ignore button).......finally everyone gets tired!!! (including DAD - TRUST ME- its what we call in malayalam - Aarambhashooratha)........

    And finally when none of y'all are expecting He'll arrive ( the one who deserves you best) And you're gonna so glad that your life turned out be this way.... :)

    Warm huggs and Prayers!! Muah!

    P.S : Oh and please keep ur profile just the way it is.... It will sure ward off all the 'wrong' ones! and save us a lot of trouble ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe. No sweetie, I'm not planning to change it. :P

      Delete
  7. hilarious... and sadly true. trust me... stick to this stand. been there, done that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm already getting tired of marriage, and I'm not even married yet. :/

      Delete
  8. ha ha.. I should not be laughing at someone else's plight, but it was so funny... Shine would be such a horrible surname, There was a "Bright " in my class in school who was far from bright. I really think Malayalis are the most horrible in naming children. I never had to endure the matrimonial site madness myself , but for my cousin sister who was a journalist, we did get lots of weird interested people including a police constable and a kathakali dancer..But take the matrimonial profiles with a pinch of salt as the person (the guy) might not even look like the picture himself. I have cousins who were forced to either clean shave or sport a mustache for that matrimonial picture even though they sport french beards and goatees most of the time, the profile is usually made by parents/uncles etc who have no idea what the actual guy is like. Another person's profile had job as "Typing" (he was a software engineer). Anyway best of luck until the next step starts(people coming to see you) which will be even more hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ayyoo!! I can't even begin to imagine what the 'pennukaanals' will be like!

      Delete
  9. Ha ha... I never went through this.... I agree Calvin and Hobbes must have scared them already... Run a Grammer checker on the guy before finalizing... all the best...:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya no. I'll probably send him a writing test to do. :P

      Delete
  10. Really? You wrote about your sarcasm in your matrimonial 'about me'? Get some sense, woman :P
    I agree completely about the Mallu men and the mustaches and the lame 'interests'.

    Let's not kid ourselves, little things matter when you're looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. And 'rest of life' is a very, VERY long time. Be picky, be choosy, there IS that one person who you won't mind you being a grammar nazi and sarcastic or even sleeping with your mouth open.

    Oh and you ought to kick that guy's ass, the one who made the 'polite partner preference'. Or let me.

    Oh no.2 and you're not as average looking as you make out to be okay? Gah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweetie, I even wrote "Someone who watches mallu movies, because I do, and tend to quote dialogues from them. So I don't want my partner to think I'm a nut if I suddenly say 'kilometres and kilometres from Washington DC to Miami beach' " in my partner preferance. Now what have you got to say about the grammar thing? :p

      And I didn't think it was worth my time to react to that guy. Waste.

      Delete
  11. haha...all the best on your hunt:)
    First comment here,but been following for a while...

    That unsexy sounding name thing reminded me of something I saw years ago
    In that scene in 'When harry met sally' when Sally insists that she had great sex with a guy named sheldon,and Harry replies,"Sheldon? No,I'm sorry.You didnt have great sex with sheldon.A sheldon can do your taxes.If you need a root canal,he's your man.But between the sheets is not sheldons strong suit"


    PS:I have been living in terror ever since:P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember that scene! :D

      And buddy, old-fashioned is way better than ridiculous. Trust me.

      This reminded of a joke by Russell Peters, about a South African man whose name had an exclamation mark (!) in his name. Have you seen that one?!

      Delete
    2. Yeah remember that one:) A junkie dealer or something, !Xobil and you just had to yell it out:D,or maybe start with a yell and tone it down..hehe

      Have you heard this? The standard stereotypical joke,though I don't completely agree:) http://texasfred.net/archives/5959

      Delete
  12. Duuuude I know how freaky all this marriage stuff is!My family went crazy searching for a groom for my aunt, and all she did was reject them one by one. And all I ever heard my grandparents talking about was this matrimonial site and that matrimonial site and so and so marriage agency thingy in every corner of the city! :O

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arre my dad is acting as though there is one time bomb attached to me that'll blow up if I don't get married by December. :/

      Delete
  13. haha....! God! There are really such guys!?! I mean who sends a letter like statement. I mean, "Dear Father" Seriously? Maybe he meant it for someone in church :/ and that blogger guy- haha "paragraphs like loose motions" :P
    Imagine what he has to say in case he stumbles upon your blog :D
    And no, You won't die alone with your grammar books. Remember what Sharukh said in some bollywood movie. "Someone, somewhwere is made for everyone."

    Wait, Was it Sharukh? Never mind!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes yes, SRK only. In Dil tho pagal hai. :P (I can't believe I remember that :/)

      Delete
  14. hahahahahahah...... and then some more!! Good Lord you hit it right on target there - I remember my sister screaming at Mom "No moustaches, no mallu-hindi, and no thenga-thottam for a career choice"..... and yes, her first preference was "Nambiar if possible".... and Spiffy, they DO exist - patience! Am forwarding this one to her so that she can have a guffaw! :-D !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thenga-thottam for a career choice!! :D :D :D

      I have full patience, I'm in no hurry at all. It's my dad who is in a hurry. Paavam, I can understand his tension also

      Delete
  15. Looks are not the most important thing - Of course not! But if you cant even stand the sight of the person you're married to, how the hell are you going to live with him?? It's not the MOST important thing, but it's IMPORTANT!

    Names - I remember telling my parents that I will not marry a "Random Ramasamy". Name is as important as the looks. No ancient named man. Seriously!! Don't even believe in those who claims their names as Andy. It might turn up to be Mayandy or Muniandy in real. WTF!!

    A man who doesn't speak proper English is such a turn off. Totally!! Especially if he doesn't even understand your sarcasm of criticizing him. It's even worse when they actually ask you to explain it later on. =S
    And NO, you're not alone in this! Hence, you won't die alone, surrounded by grammar books! =)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Exactly! Looks are not the most important thing, but they ARE a factor.

      Oh that Andy thing was hilarious! High-faive! :D

      Seriously, worse than someone who doesn't have a sense of humour is a person who doesn't 'get' sarcasm. Takes the joy out of it. :/

      Delete
  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  17. Nice to read the blog..all the best for u'r\dad's search..!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ha ha... Nice one...

    On the market!!! An apt title... It does sound like some android application up for grabs though!!!

    Between, I thought that mustaches could be shaved... But names, we do have some very strange names... I had a friend called Kripesh... He told me that his parents took the first few characters from their names and made his!!!

    Imagine if his parents were Krishnan and Mini and they made his name with "Kri" from his father and "Mi" from his mother!!! That will be one hell of a name!!!

    I remember my mother telling me that my grandfather wanted to call me "Ambujakshan"!!! That would have been one fine name!!! Well, thinking of it, I guess I would then have renamed it as "Ambu Jakson"!!!

    All the best for the wild goose chase to you and your father!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moustaches can be shaved, but the question is whether they want to or not, no. :/

      Let's not even start talking about the 'trend' of naming a kid by combining parts of the parents names. That's imagination at a whole new level.

      Dude, Ambu Jackson is no better either. :/

      Delete
    2. Who said Ambu Jackson would be better!!! I was being sarcastic about it!!! That name would have been disastrous!!!

      With such names, one will end up quoting Juliet and and do soliloquies like "What is in a name..."!!!

      Delete
  19. This could have been me writing this post some years ago...
    aah..it was such a heartache then!..
    "some of the profiles make me want to become a nun"
    Exact feelings, some years ago..and I had very similar preferences too :-)))
    am glad I didn't become a nun and waited..
    so girl, just hang in there and wait for the person that fits or at least "almost" fits your bill :-)))
    all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yea right! I am there too, well almost. This trip home, I deleted some profiles of mine. Yes the FB thing happens to me too. What confidence, I say. Am not going to bless you a guy and all that - damn, all this will happen when it has to. Go and drink with your girls and be merry. Generally, hugss*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The drinking thing reminded me- I happened to check out the profiles of some girls as well (checking out hte competition, you see)- none of them drink, apparently! I was so tempted to click on the 'drinks occasionally' option for my profile, then let it be, since my dad handles it. But I will make sure I say ok to a guy who doesn't mind drinking. What my life will become otherwise! :O

      Delete
  21. Hahahaha..... like one sage rightfully pointed out - u don't meet Mellu men; they just happen to u.. :)

    Wow, I'm almost on the same boat in spite of my high sounding advice that "The Internet is strictly for finding porn n not fr finding true love or life partners" but well, nobody seems to agree with me on that...:(

    Well, what else can I say.... All the best, D! May u find ur moochless mellu soon.. :)

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I honestly do not believe that the right guy for me is out there on a matrimonial site. Seriously.

      Moochless Mallu- A rare breed, I tell you. :/

      Delete
  22. Oh dear. My mum's been hinting at "boys" and it's so annoying. I told her I'm going to be a husbandbeater and go marry a spaniard.

    That seems to be working so far.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm a Tamilian, so no surname. Therefore need not change urs. I dont have a mustache, well, most of the time..:D I do not have a pot belly. I dont have a Mellu akscent. I have a blog(thanks for reminding me..:-)). And I assume my grammar isn't that bad either. Now, may I know in which matrimony site you got registered..?? Atleast to read ur 'About Me' description..;-)

    Jokes apart. I'm gonna give you the same reaction I give to all those who fall into this pit, *tch*tch*tch*..:D

    Although I second R-A-J's thought of, "The Internet is strictly for finding porn n not fr finding true love or life partners", I still hope that you find the person who complements you.

    And when you find 'The One', do not forget to invite me for the BIG FAT MELLU WEDDING...:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dai dai, over pannaathe. :P

      Go search, let's see if you find my profile. :p

      Delete
    2. I searched no, but kedaikala..:-( There are lotta girls out there with ur name...:P

      Delete
    3. Good only that you didn't kedaikofy. :p
      And hello, I would rather have a common name than a horrible one, ok. Hmph.

      Delete
  24. I am in EXACTLY the same situation.
    There are no Punjabi guys either who match the requirements you stated.Mine are similar.

    Plus, searching for love on the web seems a bit too desperate to me, but can't stop them from making those profiles on matrimony websites either.

    Glad to know, there are people, other than me, who are hoping for a miracle.Good Luck to you:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest, even I find searching for a life partner on the net desperate, not to mention a little scary. I mean, how much can we really know a person through an online profile. What if he writes "friendly and fun-loving' in his profile, but is in reality a psycho? :/ *shudder*

      Delete
  25. Spiff spiff spiff!! How I understand this.

    Thanks to my parents, I was on that crappy Kerala matrimony for exactly 4 days. I received a zillion interests. 95% from mucchad uncles who were over 30 and 5% from decent enough people. One guy happened to be a model with super sexy pics. But I was 100% sure that it was not the real him. Another guy whom I met there is a really good friend now, obviously after I said a no and he married someone else. At times you meet the right people. My bestie did and she is married to him for more than 2 years now and is the happiest.

    Depends a lot on luck, trust me. Looks are important. Very very important. Comeon, nobody wants to have ugly looking children. And how would you get yourself to sleep with a guy who looks like your uncle's neighbour uncle. Crazy it is. Funnily parents don't get this part at all and we obviously can't say the above line to them, can we? :D

    All the best sweetheart and make sure you take your time and pick the right guy.

    I agree with PeeVee, you may not be Miss Universe, but the first runner up perhaps. Give yourself more credit, cos I love this aana kutti and her button nose :)

    Love <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Parents don't get that 'looks are important' funda. Just like they don't get how it is impossible to get married to someone who you've known only for a couple of months. :/

      And thanks, babes. Although, I'm not sure I like the tag 'aana kutti'. :/

      Delete
    2. Oopsie, I take that back then. Sorry :(

      And I forgot to mention 'Shine'. On yeah, I got an interest from someone with that name too. Sony, Jili, Reneesh, Shibi were some of the other memorable ones :D

      Delete
    3. Jili!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Ayyo!! WHAT in the world were his parents thinking (or maybe drinking) when they named him that!

      Delete
  26. Spiff! You just said all that I wanted to say. ALL.
    I don't understand why parents have to be in such a hurry to 'see us off'. Even my father has put me on a matrimonial site and whenever I walk into the room I see him surfing through profiles of various pot bellied ungles or 'IT Professionals' who want a 'simple, loving, understanding girl'. And names! Oh God, what's with all these names. My sister has already predicted that I will get married to someone named 'Bineesh'. Cool, no? :/

    And even if we do forget that, can we forgive the prospective groom's parents who have filled out their son's profile with stuff like 'looking for aspiring girl' (?!) in the partner preference? Huh! I got a bit carried away because I know just what it feels like.

    I think I am better off single! All said and done, I was laughing through each line of the post. You write so well, so don't fall for a bad-grammar guy, ok? ;)

    And I am sure you will find someone good. All the best! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have lost count of the number of Bineesh's, Shajeesh's and Roshit's I came across. Them and their 'sh's!
      I will disown you if you get married to someone with a name like that. I promise.

      Delete
  27. Ohhhhh... I hate men with mustache!!!! Hundred percent..!!! And thank god, my man doesn't sport one.. Phew!!! Stubs are sexy but thick ones, complete yuck!!

    But I wonder why I don't mind my dad with that mustache. In fact I cant even imagine him without that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True! I can't imagine my dad without a moustache either! :D And actually, not many of the generation are moush-less.

      Delete
  28. You've just summarized my 2 years (and running!) ordeal! The very same things I've a problem with - pathetic language, weird names, weird looks, under-qualified guys, guys whose request makes you wanna become a nun :|

    I was holding off writing a post on this, with the hope that I *might* get one decent bloke - I thought I'd summarize my groom-hunting saga then. Anyways, it's a tough thing to do,let me tell ya. Mine's going on for *quite* some time now, and with no luck. I wish you strike gold sooner! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 2 years? My my, I have a looooong way to go, don't I? :/
      My sister had to go through this for about 3 years. I've just started and I'm already tired of it! Frankly, I would rather get married late and be happy for the rest of my life, than get married in a hurry and then regret for ever. I cannot take a chance with my life.

      Delete
  29. Hilarious! And True! When we were looking for a guy for my sister, we found one that was perfect except his name was Mr.Uppiliappan! Can you believe that? Like you said, I judge his parents and his parents alone. But of course, my sister did end up marrying Mr.Shine Prasad. Sad name, but great guy! Their kids would probably end up being called Ramesh Shine or Suresh Shine and remind everyone of "India Shining!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, no, I cannot believe that a guy can be named Uppiliappan. Na-ah.

      Erm.. Don't tell your sister about my Shine joke, ok. :/

      Delete
    2. Uppiliappan, he is... Believe it or not... Ripley himself was shocked by it :P

      I wont tell my sis... She'd be pretty pissed... :)

      Delete
  30. Such fun reading this. Sorry sorry. I know I am not supposed to laugh but then these guys make life so funny at times. I have never had to go thru' any of this but I have friends who do and I always get majorly entertained.
    All the best ya :) And I love your about me section. that's where the filter is :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DO you know, I had almost written "I'm a blogger, so be nice to me, or else I might blog about you!" in my about me section.. That would've been fun no! :D

      Delete
    2. Actually, not almost. I did write that. :/ I went back and checked now.

      Delete
  31. In the market :D. Good lord, why do you have to write something this good just when I'm on an internet detox?

    I will come back and comment after I fix my chair which is now wobbly after I fell off laughing from it. :D :D :D

    On a side note, maybe you can be Mrs Thick Mustache at first and then get him to shave it off after pulling a tantrum and ditto with the pot belly.

    Good luck finding Mr Non Mustache + Non Pot belly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dai dai. You find my predicament funny no. Mantal fallow. :/

      Delete
  32. I've been checking out new blogs randomly since the last couple of hours and yours is easily the best among them all! Love the way you write..:)

    p.s:
    hope you get your non mooch vaala non pot bellied and decently named guy who understand your humour soon :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! And welcome to my space. :) You're in for a lot of nonsense.

      Delete
  33. Divya, I totally understand what you wrote. I have seen my share of lame guys and do have many stories from my Bharatmatrimony years. Will definitely tell you abt them, you are gonna love it :D. May be you can compile all of them and make it a book :). he he he.
    Wait it out and meanwhile enjoy the fun! I just Love your blogs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know we love your stories, right? I still remember the one you told last time. :D So yes, we need to meet soon!!

      And thank you, chech. :)

      Delete
  34. Read the title and couldn't resist asking:

    "how maach?"

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sorry to hear you are headed to a three-way with Wren and Martin, but man, you are hilarious!

    Shine is not the worst name a guy can have; I have had the pleasure of meeting a Nicky Boy and a Makalu. Also, ask Saty what his grandpops named him. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm priceless, you know. ;)

      Wren and Martin have grown old. I don't they'll be able to last a three-way with me. I'll look for some younger ones. :P

      I have heard of someone named Dubai Mon! And what did his grandpops name him?? Tell no. He won't tell if I ask.

      Delete
  36. Now I feel tiny bit guilty for taking away one of the apparently rare moustache-less, accent-less, nice-named (though it has 'sh' in it!), grammar-nazi Malayali guy from the Malayali girls. :p
    Good luck with your search! Being brutally honest in the matrimony profile should be a really good 'spam' filter :) Tell your dad that he has raised you well enough that you can take care of yourself. A self-dependent girl like you doesn't need 'some guy' to 'rescue' you. Why worry so much?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only one question- Does your husband have a brother, unmarried preferably? WHo looks like him, maybe? :/

      Delete
  37. Your forte seriously is satire. This was truly hilarious:D
    And the whole marriage business is way overrated. It just takes 1 damn 'available' gal/guy for everyone to get hyper :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :)
      All this marriage talk is making me more averse to the whole idea than ever before. Seriously. :/

      And before I forget, I absolutely LOVE your name. :)

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  38. you really don't know what you want....a confused,bored & self-centered girl...

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    Replies
    1. Arre waah! Aapne tho ekdum sahi pehchaana mujhe, Rupesh Bhaiyya! :D

      Delete
  39. you are no more Mrs thick mustache...Y AM I SO JEALOUS OF YOU!!!! I think i will die surrounded by grammar books. but yeh i am just 23 :D

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  40. so? did you find that mallu man without the obligatory facial brush?

    been a long time since i have been here...so many things seemed to have happened...and you seem to have come out on top...

    thanks for getting in touch...

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  41. so? did you find that mallu man without the obligatory facial brush?

    been a long time since i have been here...so many things seemed to have happened...and you seem to have come out on top...

    thanks for getting in touch...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good Lord. You do hate the Mallu (correction: Malayali)stereotype dont you?..Well there are tonnes of intersting, funny, quirky and above all not-just -moustache touting Malayali Hunks out there.. (Guess that came out gay!).. But seriously someone has to vouch for us handsome keralite cherukkanmaar na?..Thats why yours truly is taking up the challenge..

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  43. Loved this post! I enjoyed the humour and sarcasm!

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  44. Hahaha.. Awesome girl.. I am going through the exactly same drama these days.. Wish me luck.. Oh rather.. Wish the guys luck.. Lol :p

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  45. Oh my God! I hopped on to your blog from Red's and been laughing my head off since! Your posts are simply too good, woman. I could relate to the whole fiasco that you went through. But a tad disappointed that you are not so frequent at posting now :( Write more please, I love you!

    ReplyDelete

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