June 21, 2011

Why Salman Khan is my superstar.

I travel to Bangalore once in a while, because there’s a mini unit of my family there (as every Malayali has). And since I’m very very prompt in booking tickets, I don't get train tickets and end up going by bus most of the times.

Now, I don’t have any problem as such with buses, since most of them are those AC types with push-back seats and all, but I don’t enjoy it so much. Because of two main reasons. One, I’ll be paranoid all throughout that I’ll need to pee and that they won’t stop the bus anywhere at night. And then I’ll think so much about it, that after a while, I’ll simply have to go! And obviously, they won’t stop the bus according to everyone’s bladder conditions, right? I won’t go pee behind a bush or a building either (as the driver of the bus I travelled last week in suggested). So for the most part, my sleep goes away thinking about when I’ll get to pee next. (I think I can see diabetes approaching me quite determinedly).

Another major reason is, the movies that they play. In a bus that goes from Hyderabad to Bangalore, or the other way round, they’re most likely to play a Telugu or Kannada movie. And oh good lord… I don’t understand Kannada at all, but I do understand quite a bit of Telugu, and that somehow makes it worse. No offense to any of my Telugu readers, but the movies are not very watchable. And since I have a back problem, I always opt for the seats right in front. So even if I push a roll of cotton inside my ears and close my eyes tight, I just cannot ignore the bombs exploding right in front of my face and Amisha Fatso Patel filling up the entire screen. I just give in to my fate and watch the movie.

Which (finally!) brings me to the point of this post. Last week when I was going to Bangalore, they put “Wanted” in the bus. I did a little happy jig right where I was sitting! I mean, come on! Sallu Bhai was going to make sure that my bus journey wouldn’t be a bore. When they paused the movie in between to halt for dinner and ‘toilet’, I was pretty disappointed. I couldn’t wait for the journey to resume so that I could get back to watching Radhe bash up the villains left, right and centre. Never mind that Ayesha ’40-inches-boobs-is-all-you-can-see’ Takia’s acting was sad, as long as Sallu Bhai did what he did best, I was one happy passenger.

So why do I think Salman Khan is a superstar?

1)Because he doesn’t need to endorse fairness creams to prove to people that he is ‘fair and handsome’.

2)Because I can’t think, honestly, of any actor who looks so good in a police uniform. I mean, seriously.

3)Because no one else would’ve gotten away with a film like Dabangg.

4)Because no one else can do a film like Dabangg.

5)Because though he may remove his shirt at every given opportunity, it’s kinda worth it.

6)Because no one else can wear flaming red pants and still manage to not look gay.

7)Because he doesn’t pretend to not have an ego. He has one, he knows it, and he flaunts it.

8)Because though he may have had problems in his personal life- what with the run-ins with the law and all- when he comes on to screen, audiences still watch open-mouthed.

9)Because he dared to do a role like the one in “Tere Naam”, and pulled it off with élan.

10)Because he is the original lover-boy of Indian cinema. He may be a 40-year old hulk now, but somewhere, you can still see the boyish charm of the Prem of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Maine Pyaar Kiya.

11)Because he had the heart to mentor someone like Himesh ‘I-love-my-nose’ Reshammiya.

12)Because he had the sense to not pursue Aishwarya Rai any further. Thank god.

13)Because not many can look good with a moustache, and he is one of the few who do.

14)Because if anyone else had said dialogues like “Main khudh nahi jaantha ki main kitna kameena hoon” (Wanted), I would’ve laughed out loud. Instead, I clapped. For a minute, I mistook the darkened interiors of the bus to be a theatre.

15)Because even though he may not be the best dancer in Bollywood, his dancing style is inimitable.

16)Because whatever role he does- corrupt police, undercover cop, a lover-boy, a musician, or a role that he did in Tere Naam(I don’t really know how to describe it)- you just can’t ignore his style.

So who cares whether his character is dheela or not. He’s still my superstar.

Here's another kindred spirit.

Note:- All images from Google.


  1. Haha, aw! I totally agree about the Telugu movies part. Throughout the movie all I can find is nonsense. I am not really a great fan of Salman, maybe because I don't really watch many movies. But he's great. He's a cool actor with a genuine style. :D Nice fan post this makes! :D

  2. A.W.E.S.O.M.E!!! sallu bhai roxxx!!!

  3. Hello there, I ran across your blog while googling Salman this morning and after reading this post I just couldn't keep myself from reading more.. I was very impressed, amazed, entertained, and amused! It seemed like a younger version of me was blogging! (A younger version that cusses more.. :) hee hee...) Not judging though!

    Some posts that stand out are: the one about the murder of the English language..
    the one about the romance novels.. the one about the women authors and not being a feminist..
    and more that escape my memory this second.

    So, I wanted to take a minute and tell you thanks.. Thanks for writing in this blog and helping me feel that there are other people out there that feel the same way I do about things; be it Salman Khan, (the man is amazing! I love him to pieces!) or my love for Anne of Green Gables and To Kill a Mockingbird!

    I look forward to checking back and seeing more.. and please forgive the comment about the cussing.. I'm a 40 year old mom of 3.. I'm old fashioned in that regard.. :)

    You're a very talented writer.. I could honestly see you being a famous authorette some day!

    All the best!

  4. @DawnZhang: Even I haven't watched all his movies, but I've liked the ones I've watched. Thanks! :)

    @diwas: Thank you! :)

    @Rohith: Jai Sallu! :D

    @Paula: I'm overwhelmed. Seriously. A mere thank you won't suffice to let you know how happy I am by what you siad. :) Still, thank you so much. You just made my entire year. Whenever I'm feeling a little low, I'll come back to this comment and read it again, just for a feel-good. :)

    And lovely to meet another Anne of Green Gables admirer. I don't see many around, and I'm always excited when I do. :) She was a very integral part of my growing years.

    P.S:- I shall mind the cussing. I promise. ;)

  5. The sense of humor is much appreciated :-) Great post!

  6. Hey Spiff, kewl one here.. yap Sallu baba roXX!!! But I still dig Katrina :D

    Really, a lot of points that u brought out here which really brings out respect for the man, Salman.

    I especially like the way he maintains a dignified silence about his exes.. for example, he's told to maintain his appearances with Ash(or rather without)..I mean, Oberoi baby even sang a song (Ae Ganpath) which kinda takes pot shots at her after all the 'this and that'.. I really respect this in Salman that he makes it a point to maintain tight silence about his exes, which really is a showing that his character is anything but Dheela.

    Also, the guy has an ego but its not the loud-in-ur-face type.. its just there and he's proud of it.

    Nice post here Captain Spiff...

    Btw,I still dig Katrina :D

  7. I used to like Salman till he did Hello Brother and farted his way through the movie. :|

    But I liked him in Dabangg. I think he's crazy but in a nice way.

  8. @Suravi: Thanks! :) And thanks for dropping in. Much appreciated. ;)

    @RAJ: Ah,the man who inspired this post, other than of course, Salman himself. :)

    You're right. He's always maintained a dignified silence about his exes. Neither has he flaunted them when with them, nor abused them after a split.

    Oh and do you like Katrina, by any chance? You didn't make it clear enough. :P

  9. @Ditsy Mom: I think I started liking him more after Hello Brother. It had nothing to do with the farting though. :P

  10. I'd just like to call your attention to these pants.

  11. @Swetha: Still not red enough. :p I gather you're a Shahrukh fan?

  12. I really like your post! I am in the US and just discovered the joy of Salman's and other Indian films in the last few weeks. It has made me want to learn all I can about the language and culture so I can understand the movies better. I really enjoy them even though I probably miss half of the stuff, which is amazing to me. I even got a bunch of songs so I could practice dancing :) My favorite is Salman's laugh. I've seen a few vids on you tube of out-takes and such and I just love it when he really gets to laughing. It makes me smile.

  13. @Hold Still for a minute: Hey there. Thanks for dropping by. So glad you liked the post. :)

  14. Not a big fan of sallu-the-actor as much as sallu-the-(being)human!!! But I loved the part where u said nobody else could have gotten away with a movie like Dabangg!!! Totally Agree with that!!!

  15. Really? Salman Khan??

    For years, he has been making faces at the camera, walking in and out of the frame, doing whatever he pleases. Look back at his nearly two decade long career and tell me if even one of his performance stood out. He takes the most genuine of roles (like in Bhansali's Khamoshi - The Musical) and reduces it to a gimmickry of expressions, weird noises, and winks.

    It's only now that he's meeting with genuine success. I don't want to sound like an intellectual fuck, but that's because most of his films are lapped up in B and C centres, where you don't really need an innovative plot or narrative.

    And I'd blame Salman Khan for the downward curve that Bollywood has been taking for the last few years. With loud characters, garrish item numbers, and action scenes that defy gravity and logic, his films seem like Telugu films. If you're remaking a film that has already worked elsewhere, what is the whole point. The film might work for now, and people might like it. But does it take Hindi cinema anywhere?

  16. Man...loved ur post..I am a huge salman fan and i mostly come across ppl wo find evry way of criticizing n hating him..bt wateva ppl say,it doesnt at awl effect the way he is..n i guess d best thing abt him is he doesnt care wat ppl think abt him...he does wat he lyks n wat he wants..n dats wat makes him different...thanks again fr d post mate;)

  17. I am a huge Salman fan too ... love your blog !! glad we stumbled upon each other !!


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