We went for an Indian Ocean concert on Saturday evening. It
was brilliant. They totally rocked it. But that’s not what this post is about.
The concert was at this place called the Music Academy. It’s
a HUGE auditorium, with seating upstairs and downstairs. The upstairs seating
is quite a distance away from the stage, to be honest. You can’t really connect with the artistes, you know what
I mean? So anyways, there was this one guy who, right from when the band
appeared on stage, was so enthused, that his energy was quite infectious. He
was this typical HCU-JNU ‘buji’ types, you know? Long hair in a pony, kurta and
jeans, spectacles, a metal kada on his right wrist (yes, I have a keen sense of
observation, sometimes for the most inconsequential of things). He literally
couldn’t sit still in his seat. The band started playing. This guy was in his
element. Clapping, shouting, whoo-ing. The rest of the audience was looking at
him and sniggering, some of them with grudging admiration. And then, after a couple
of songs, he just couldn’t contain himself. He got up from his seat, went and
stood in the aisle, and stood there for the following two hours. He was
standing there all by himself, but I don’t think he cared two hoots.
One word for him. Respect. I SO wanted to go and stand with
him and clap and shout like that. But I didn’t. Why, you ask? I guess I was
embarrassed. I didn’t want the rest of the audience to look at me and laugh the
way there were at him. Pathetic, I know. I preferred to sit in my seat and be
an enthu-cutlet.
And that got me thinking. At every concert, you will
different kinds of people. Here are the ones I have observed:-
1) The
Tripper
The guy who inspired me to write this post
falls into this category, so do many many others I know. They come to the
concert purely for the music. For the experience of seeing their favourite band
perform live. For them, it’s not just another evening spent listening to music.
They really believe in the music. It is an out-of-the-body experience for them.
They will be right in front of the stage (or standing in the aisle due to lack
of any other choice) and clapping and shouting. They go into a trance. They
know all the songs, and they don’t care a fuck whether they get pointed and
laughed at. They didn’t come to make a good impression anyway. They came for
the music. They came to trip on the music.
I fall into this category partly. I go for
the music. But unless I have the right company, I can’t bring myself to stand
in front of the stage or in the aisle (Arun, how I missed you at the Swarathma
and Indian Ocean concerts, seriously).
The trippers are an absolute joy to have at
a concert.
2) The
London Mondon Statues
And on the other end of the spectrum from
the Trippers are the London Mondon Statues. They don’t move a muscle. They sit
there like statues and give an obligatory clap at the end of each song. In
their minds, they’re probably making plans for the next day – what to make for
breakfast, what dress to wear to work, when is the due date to pay credit card
bills etc. I cannot for the life of me understand how they can sit still like
that when music is playing. But then, I for one will move even to a Himesh
Reshammiya song. So I’m no one to judge.
3) The
Updaters
“At Indian Ocean concert- so-and-so checked
in at Music Academy”. “Oh wow dude. How is it?” “It is awwwsum!”
How would you know? You’re not even
listening to the music. You are too busy letting the whole world know that you
are at a concert.
And not because they are excited about it.
Nope, they just want the whole world to know that they are oh-so-cool. They
spend most of the time at the concert giving live updates. But ask them what
their favourite song of the band is, they’ll blink at you. Dude, the people on
the stage, they deserve a little more respect.
4) The
Record-keepers
They want to take low-resolution videos of
the concert from a far distance despite strict instructions that photography
and videography is not allowed. Why? How else will they prove to the rest of
the world that they actually DID go for the concert? That grainy little video?
Yes, that’s the proof. You think I’m being too critical? Let me ask you. This
is the digital age. Videos are available all over the net. You can listen to
the audio online. Buy CD’s. Why in the world would you want to take a
one-minute clip when you can watch several better videos of the same band
performing the same song on Youtube? Or is it BECAUSE you want to upload it on
Youtube? Ah... ok. NOW it makes sense.
5) The
Pretty People
They come to get their pictures clicked for Page 3. Period.
6) The
Closet-Trippers
Yours truly falls into this category. Given
a chance, I would be up there on the stage with the artistes, jumping and
tripping on the music. But I don’t do it. Why? I’ll tell you when I figure it
out, ok?
So we, as mad as we are about the music,
and despite knowing all the songs and the lyrics to them, will not move from
our seats. We will sit right there and then proceed to clap and shout and whoo
and sway and what-not. We will sing along, we will clap till our hands hurt, we
will shout till our throats hurt. But no, but will NOT move from our seats. Go
figure.
7) The
Where-am-I-I-Think-I-Lost-My-Way ones
They came in because they had two hours to
kill in the evening or wanted to get away from their kids. Oh look! There’s a
concert happening! Let’s go! Two songs in, they realise this is not how they
wanted to spend their Saturday evening. And they walk out. Well, at least they
are honest about it, as opposed to those who come to a concert and proceed to
spend the next couple of hours playing Temple Run on their phones.
Which brings me to the next type.
8) The
Tag-alongs
They just came along because someone wanted
company. And offered to pay for their tickets. So they thought, “Oh what the
hell”. You know exactly who they are because they will be spending most of
their time on their phone playing games or reading, will go out every ten
minutes to attend “important” phone calls, go out to get things to eat, take
umpteen loo breaks, and sometimes disappear for hours and return just ten
minutes before the concert ends. They’re harmless, except for when they are
sitting next to you, and you’re in the aisle seat, and every ten minutes you
have to move back to let them go. You know who they are.
That’s all I can think of for now. How many
more do you think there are?
